When I’d pushed her in that fucking mud, I had to lock my muscles into place to stop myself from diving down after her and lifting her back into my arms. And then I looked into her eyes and saw a moment of hurt there that had nothing to do with physical pain or humiliation but had everything to do with me and what I knew she had felt for me too. I felt like I’d just taken a knife to my own heart and carved a fissure right through it.
Then why treat her like shit
