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I can feel my mind disconnecting, threatening unconsciousness, and somehow I force myself not to pass out from horror. Terror. Heartbreak.
I desperately want this to be a nightmare. I would cut off my right arm for a nightmare. But reality persists.
It’s not until Anderson jerks the small figure upright, nudging his head back with a gun, that I feel the blood exit my heart. Anderson presses the gun to James’s throat, and my knees nearly give out. “This is very simple,” Anderson says. “You will hand over the girl, and in return, I won’t execute the boy.” We’re all frozen.
NOOOOOO!!!!!
Up here, the screams are muted, the blood could be water, the screams could be laughter.
He’s spattered in unknown blood, holding a machine gun like it might be a briefcase, and staring at his father like he might be staring at the ceiling.
Anderson wants the pleasure of knowing that he and he alone was able to destroy his own son.
that's sickening
Haider pulls a machete from somewhere inside the bloodied chain mail he’s wearing under his coat, and tosses it to Warner,
well, that's new 😅
Castle really thought Warner was just a nice boy who’d made some simple mistakes. The kind of kid he could bring back from the brink. Not today.
Warner looks up at his father, his face more blood than skin, his body shaking with rage.
It becomes clear to me then that even now, despite everything, Anderson doesn’t actually want to lose Warner. Not like this.
I recognize these rooms, these tools, these walls. Even the smell—stale air, synthetic lemon, bleach and rust. Dread creeps through me slowly at first, and then all at once. I am back on base in Oceania. I feel suddenly ill.
The silence is broken by a long-suffering sigh.
That’s all I ever was, I realize. A spare part kept in captivity. A backup weapon in the case that all else failed. Shatter me. Break glass in case of emergency.
Even now, even from the grave, my mother manages to wound me.
Sharp, searing heat flashes behind my eyes, and my heart leaps at her response. I am not alone, I say to her. You are not alone.
It takes every ounce of my self-control to keep from screaming. Kenji. Anderson shot Kenji.
Supreme Commander Ibrahim ignores her. “If my daughter is not returned to me alive,” he says angrily, “I will personally remove your brain from your skull.”
i would never agree with one of these people, BUT a person who wants to kill Anderson for good. i'm on your side
“You and your sister. You were her life’s work, and she wasn’t about to let it all go up in flames without a fight.”
I feel at once paralyzed and as if I’m falling, free-falling, sinking into the coldest depths of hell.
A gentle breeze pushes the hair out of my face. I stare directly into the newborn sun, daring it to burn my eyes out.
A serious darkness has descended upon us all.
OH! AND ME! I WANT SOMETHING HAPPY 😭
Nazeera is here, but she’s sleeping. I drop down in a seat next to her cot, checking up on her the way I do every hour. Nothing’s changed.
awwwwww 🤭
Someone else told me that they’d heard from a friend that some girl had seen him save a cluster of children from friendly fire. Translation: He probably shoved a bunch of kids to the ground.
Castle just changed the subject so quickly it nearly gave me whiplash. This isn’t like him. This isn’t like us.
I want to fix whatever is happening between us, but right now, I’m just too wrung out. Between J and Warner and James and unconscious Nazeera— My head is in such a weird place I’m not sure I have the bandwidth for much else.
“What reason would you have to be afraid of Warner? He’s such a nice guy. Loves children. Big talker. Oh, and bonus: He no longer murders people professionally. No, now murdering people is just a fulfilling hobby.”
KENJI ✋🏼😭
I guess I am a bit of a caveman when Warner isn’t around to keep me decent.
“Are you—?” I make a show of looking around, over my shoulders. “I’m sorry, which friends are you referring to? Because as far as I know, Warner doesn’t have any.”
KENJI ✋🏼😭
“Kenji,” I hear Castle call out. “Language.” I swivel around, surprised. I thought Castle was gone. “It wasn’t me!” I shout back. “For the first time, I swear, it wasn’t me!”
i'm WHEEZING 😭😭😭
“James is officially up and ready for visitors,” she says, “and he asked to see you.”
This is the moment where Warner and James finally come face-to-face not as strangers, but as brothers.
Warner turns again, this time staring precisely in my direction when he says, “Why don’t you ask him yourself?” “Son of a bitch,” I mutter, my invisibility melting away.
HA! 😂
Outside, things are a strange mix of green and desolate. Inside, this tree is warm and rosy-hued. Perfect autumn foliage.
A kaleidoscope of dead butterflies kicked up by a brief, dry gust of wind.
“He has a gift,” Anderson says, straightening. “He came to me voluntarily and offered to share it with me.”
NOOOOO!!!! Adam, what have you done 😭
It’s almost like he knows that his eyes alone are enough to upset my equilibrium.
Power surges through me, filling my blood with fire. The feeling is intoxicating. Delicious.
The truth, on the other hand, is that they’re only reparably bad. Ha.
“Hey—douche bag,” I shout, hoping Warner’s still close enough to hear me. “I know you love her, but so do I, and I’m—” Warner reappears so close to my face I nearly scream. I take a sudden, terrified step backward.
i'm WHEEZING 😂 i SWEAR Kenji is just a PG-13 version of Deadpool 😂
Warner’s eyes go flinty. Electric. That scary kind of crazy. “Every single time you claim to understand even a fraction of what I’m feeling, I want to disembowel you. I want to sever your carotid artery. I want to rip out your vertebrae, one by one. You have no idea what it is to love her,” he says angrily. “You couldn’t even begin to imagine. So stop trying to understand.” Wow, sometimes I really hate this guy.
(I actually imagine it for a moment, imagine what it’d be like to crush his head like a walnut. It’s oddly satisfying.) But then I remember that we need this asshole, and that J’s life is on the line. The fate of the world is on the line.
I scan the immediate area for eavesdroppers. Yep. Too many new members of the Warner fan club clutching their hearts.
Warner jerks away from me and takes a long, irritated breath. The sound of it almost makes me smile. Feels like old times. I think I’m making progress. Because this time, when I tell him to follow me, he doesn’t fight.
Broken images flood my mind—a flash of golden hair, fingers grazing bare skin—and then nausea. Dizziness.
REMEMBER, PLEASE REMEMBER!!!
In the span of a single instant darkness floods my vision. Clears. Hazy images reappear, time speeding up and slowing down in fits and starts. Colors streak across my eyes, dilate my pupils. Stars explode, lights flashing, sparking. I hear voices. A single voice. A whisper— I am a thief
“Do mine eyes deceive me,” he says, “or does the great Paris Anderson admit to having a conscience? Or perhaps: a sense of morality?”
“It’s been thirty years, Paris, and I’m still waiting for you to develop a sense of humor.”
Max CLOCKED Anderson! HA! 😂
But when I hear the distant sound of Anderson’s laughter, I realize that he and Max are laughing together. It’s a realization that both startles and stuns me: That they must be friends.
Every time the doorbell rings I’m like, this is it, this is the time Warner is finally going to lose his mind and shoot someone, but he never even seems to notice.
KENJI ✋🏼😭
I hold up my hands. “Okay. Cool. That’s fine.” I point at him. “Actually, I heard that blood’s good for you. You know—organic. Antioxidants and shit. Very popular with vampires.”
KENJI ✋🏼😭
