I want the life I never got. It’s not fair that I have to play catch-up now, that I’ll never know what it’s like to be seen as a boy my whole life. I would have been a cool guy. I know it. I wouldn’t be Blake, wrestling with my bros and saying awful things to people. I wouldn’t be like the jocks at school. I wouldn’t be the terrible dudes Zoe dated before she came out. It’s not too late; part of me knows that. But another part of me thinks—what if it is? What if I never see myself in the mirror again? I can’t go the rest of my life on glances and moments. I don’t want to live that way. I want
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