Get Out of Your Head: Stopping the Spiral of Toxic Thoughts

by Jennie Allen

Every great or horrible act we see in history and in our lives is preceded by a thought. And that one thought multiplies into many thoughts that develop into a mind-set, often without our even realizing it. Our goal is to be aware of our thoughts and deliberately build them into mind-sets that lead to the outcomes we want and the outcomes God wants for us.

One God-honoring thought has the potential to change the trajectory of both history and eternity. Just as one uninterrupted lie in my head has the potential to bring about unimaginable destruction in the world around me.

Satan knows that we are what we think—so if we are believing things that are not true about us, then we are believing what the devil wants us to believe instead of what God wants us to believe.

The enemy will tell you that change is hopeless, that you’re a victim of your circumstances and your thought patterns. The enemy wants you to settle, to find a way just to survive and be somewhat happy. The enemy will urge you to accept that “this is just who you are,” that your thinking is rooted too deeply in your personality or your upbringing to ever make a shift. Your first objective is to capture the thought—to have the courage to face that defining, destructive thought and interrupt it: I have a choice.

I don’t want to overcomplicate the problem. Romans 8 lays it out so clearly: a mind set on the flesh leads to sin and death, and a mind set on the Spirit leads to life and peace.7 That is the simple reality we face. But shifting our minds from flesh to Spirit is an ongoing work of the spiritual life. It is not a one-time decision but a day-by-day, moment-by-moment choice to move from chaos and confusion toward the peace of Christ in various areas of our thought lives.

The antidote to running from ourselves is running to the only One who helps us get over ourselves. The lie is that we will be shamed. The truth is that the God who is creator and sovereign over the universe and the God who conquered sin and death is the same God who wants to be with you in your pain, doubt, shame, and other circumstances.

But our tool for defeating “what if” is, not surprisingly, found in two words: “Because God.”

How often have we chosen to be unhappy? Rather than seeing the best and celebrating the good, we have chosen to see only the struggles and complain about the bad. I wondered aloud how choosing to see the best in all situations might bring all of us a lot more joy.

Cynicism is always driven by fear of the future or by anger regarding the past. Either we’re afraid of something that might not ever occur, or we project something that has occurred onto all the days that are to come. We buy into the lie that it’s too risky to be vulnerable or hope for good things.

Cynicism is destroying our ability to delight in the world around us and fully engage with others. God has an abundance of joy and delight for us, and we’re missing it with arms crossed.

Cynicism at its root is a refusal to believe that God is in control and God is good. Cynicism is interpreting the world and God based on hurt you’ve experienced and the wounds that still lie gaping open. It forces you to look horizontally at people rather than vertically to God.

cynicism usually grows because we think we deserve better than we are getting. At the root of cynicism is crippling hurt. Cynicism says that nobody can be trusted, that we’re never, ever safe.

Beauty interrupts us, it awakens us, it undoes us, it cuts us open, and restarts our hearts. Beauty is God’s evidence of something far more wonderful coming, a world beyond the one we can imagine, even in the most spectacular moments here. A God better than what we hope for. A God who blows our minds.

Cynicism crumbles in the presence of beauty.

There is such intention. Such craftsmanship. Such incredible functionality. Such beauty. Such proof.

Humility is perfect quietness of heart…. It is to expect nothing, to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me. It is to be at rest when nobody praises me and when I am blamed or despised. It is to have a blessed home in the Lord, where I can go in and shut the door, and kneel to my Father in secret, and am at peace, as in a deep sea of calmness, when all around and above is trouble.

Paul possessed an incredible disregard for his losses and accomplishments alike. He disregarded the things that the rest of the world esteems. I mean, he even disregarded himself. He couldn’t care less what happened to him, just as long as he could know Jesus better. In fact, those things the rest of us count as important? “Rubbish!” Paul said of them. I find these insights from Paul staggering, especially in our day and age. If I had to name the most destructive line of thinking in our twenty-first-century culture, it’s our incessant quest to be great. We spend a lot of effort trying to become distinct, successful, smarter, stronger, thinner…great. We love being great. It’s so great to be so great. We want to be great—as in, accomplished and successful. Sure, we may couch it in acceptable terms, like “doing great things for the kingdom” or “making God’s name famous.” But somehow our thoughts subtly become centered not on Him but on ourselves—how we can achieve our goals, realize our dreams, enlarge our influence, position ourselves for success.

Victimhood is yet another enemy of our minds that keeps us fixated on something other than the God of the universe, believing the lie that we are at the mercy of circumstances. But we have a choice. We can center our thoughts on the certainty that, no matter what comes, we are upheld securely by God’s righteous right hand.2 And that will shift our minds toward gratitude.

But his circumstances didn’t dictate his thoughts. It was his love of Jesus and trust in a good, loving, in-control God that consumed his mind and gave him purpose.

We don’t have to like our circumstances, but we can choose to look for the unexpected gifts they may bring.