If I could stay busy, my not-so-concrete thinking went, the doubt couldn’t catch me. If I stayed distracted, I’d feel no pain. Because if I slowed down enough to look at my soul, I might be overwhelmed by all that needed fixing in me. I didn’t want to hear what God might want to say to me—or take the risk that He would remain silent, hidden, deepening my doubt about His existence, His love.
