The Perks of Being a Wallflower

by Stephen Chbosky

“Charlie, we accept the love we think we deserve.”

"we accept the love we think we deserve"

The great thing about Sam is that she doesn’t think I’m crazy for pretending to do things.

After the song finished, I said something. “I feel infinite.” And Sam and Patrick looked at me like I said the greatest thing they ever heard.

It was like when you see a movie in the theater during the day, and when you leave the movie, you can’t believe that it’s still daylight outside.

I have to say that it was the best milkshake I ever had in my life. It was so delicious, it almost scared me. Before we left the party, Sam played me a few of her favorite songs. One was called “Blackbird.” The other was called “MLK.” They were both very beautiful. I mentioned the titles because they were as great when I listened to them sober.

Then, Patrick pointed at me, and said something to Bob. “He’s something, isn’t he?” Bob nodded his head. Patrick then said something I don’t think I’ll ever forget. “He’s a wallflower.”

Anyway, Patrick started driving really fast, and just before we got to the tunnel, Sam stood up, and the wind turned her dress into ocean waves. When we hit the tunnel, all the sound got scooped up into a vacuum, and it was replaced by a song on the tape player. A beautiful song called “Landslide.” When we got out of the tunnel, Sam screamed this really fun scream, and there it was. Downtown. Lights on buildings and everything that makes you wonder. Sam sat down and started laughing. Patrick started laughing. I started laughing. And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.

Patrick actually used to be popular before Sam bought him some good music.

But the second side is the one I like the most. It has winter kind of songs. Here they are: Asleep by the Smiths Vapour Trail by Ride Scarborough Fair by Simon & Garfunkel A Whiter Shade of Pale by Procol Harum Time of No Reply by Nick Drake Dear Prudence by the Beatles Gypsy by Suzanne Vega Nights in White Satin by the Moody Blues Daydream by Smashing Pumpkins

Dusk by Genesis (before Phil Collins was even in the band!) MLK by U2 Blackbird by the Beatles Landslide by Fleetwood Mac And finally… Asleep by the Smiths (again!)

“I know that you know that I like Craig. And I know that I told you not to think of me that way. And I know that we can’t be together like that. But I want to forget all those things for a minute. Okay?” “Okay.” “I want to make sure that the first person you kiss loves you. Okay?” “Okay.” She was crying harder now. And I was, too, because when I hear something like that I just can’t help it. “I just want to make sure of that. Okay?” “Okay.” And she kissed me. It was the kind of kiss that I could never tell my friends about out loud. It was the kind of kiss that made me know that I was never so happy in my whole life.

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines he wrote a poem And he called it “Chops” because that was the name of his dog And that’s what it was all about And his teacher gave him an A and a gold star And his mother hung it on the kitchen door and read it to his aunts That was the year Father Tracy took all the kids to the zoo And he let them sing on the bus And his little sister was born with tiny toenails and no hair And his mother and father kissed a lot And the girl around the corner sent him a Valentine signed with a row of X’s and he had to ask his father what the X’s meant And his father always tucked him in bed at night And was always there to do it Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines he wrote a poem And he called it “Autumn” because that was the name of the season And that’s what it was all about And his teacher gave him an A and asked him to write more clearly And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door because of its new paint And the kids told him that Father Tracy smoked cigars And left butts on the pews And sometimes they would burn holes That was the year his sister got glasses with thick lenses and black frames And the girl around the corner laughed when he asked her to go see Santa Claus And the kids told him why his mother and father kissed a lot And his father never tucked him in bed at night And his father got mad when he cried for him to do it. Once on a paper torn from his notebook he wrote a poem And he called it “Innocence: A Qu...

In the morning, I finished the book and then started immediately reading it again. Anything to not feel like crying. Because I made the promise to Aunt Helen. And because I don’t want to start thinking again. Not like I have this last week. I can’t think again. Not ever again. I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That’s why I’m trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning. If this gets any worse, I might have to go back to the doctor. It’s getting that bad again.

He even let me smoke a cigarette in his office, but he urged me to quit smoking because of the health risks. He even had a pamphlet in his desk that he gave me. I now use it as a bookmark.

so I decided to do my math homework, which was a mistake because math has never made any sense to me. I was just confused all day.

I don’t know how these things happen to me sometimes.