Find Layla

by Meg Elison

Life is hard and complicated and messy. Life is parasites that live in your gut and brilliant scientists teaching a gorilla to use sign language. Life is moths that drink tears, and the flu virus, and nothing you can control. Life is sometimes using a knife to comb your hair, because absolutely nothing else works, and life always finds a way through. I want to tell her what I always tell myself now: that’s life. It cheers me up and it calms me down. It reminds me to focus on what I can do rather than what I can’t.

What’s more worthless than nice?

Someplace to feel safe. Does that feeling even exist? No, it exists. I’ve seen the calm of other biomes. I’ve stolen it, like a parasite. What I don’t know is whether I can get my own and maintain it. Peace and homeostasis look expensive.