We move up on the selfhood scale (and the intimacy scale, for that matter) when we are able to: present a balanced picture of both our strengths and our vulnerabilities. make clear statements of our beliefs, values, and priorities, and then keep our behavior congruent with these. stay emotionally connected to significant others even when things get pretty intense. address difficult and painful issues and take a position on matters important to us. state our differences and allow others to do the same.
