I'll Be the One

by Lyla Lee

It shouldn’t matter why I’m a certain weight. Being fat doesn’t make me any less of a person.

Fat girls can only aspire to be the comic relief. But I’m not here to make anyone laugh. I’m here to win.

I want to show people that it’s okay to not be model-thin and exhaust yourself to the point of hospitalization. That girl failed me, so I want to be my own hero.”

Why should I have to stand up for myself all the time? Just because I’m fat doesn’t mean I have to let myself get hurt by these people over and over again. I’m not some spokesperson for all fat people, nor am I some martyr. I’m just one girl trying to achieve her dreams and live her own life.

As we’re dancing, Henry smiles. And I smile back as he spins me into his arms.

He laughs, and his smile is so genuine that it makes me grin, too. Wow, I think before I can stop myself. I wish he smiled like that more often.

“How about I message you so much that you get sick of me?” “Forget messages,” I say. “Just spam me with dog pics. That, and plans for practice. Nothing else.”

“You are beautiful,” I whisper to myself. “Don’t let anyone, not even yourself, tell you any different.”

“This is for all the Black girls out there who love K-pop,” she says. “So much of the fandom—and even some of the stars—hate us, instead of thinking about how much we contribute to the community. Well, it’s time for a change, and I’m going to try my best to make it happen. I’ll make you proud. Just watch me.”

“Thanks for believing in me for all this time.” “Of course. I’m going to keep believing in you. Because you’re—” I laugh. “Amazing, I know.” He lightly taps my nose. “No. This time, I was going to say fabulous.”

“I’m fat. People think it means I should hate myself, and when I don’t, it makes them uncomfortable. But this is just another part of who I am, and I’m happy with who I am.”