Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day

by Jay Shetty

We try to live up to what we think others think of us, even at the expense of our values.

When you try to live your most authentic life, some of your relationships will be put in jeopardy. Losing them is a risk worth bearing; finding a way to keep them in your life is a challenge worth taking on.

“Your identity is a mirror covered with dust.

If you know your values, you have directions that point you toward the people and actions and habits that are best for you. Just as when we drive through a new area, we wander aimlessly without values;

our values are influenced by whatever absorbs our minds.

When we tune out the opinions, expectations, and obligations of the world around us, we begin to hear ourselves.

The six lower values are greed, lust, anger, ego, illusion, and envy.

When you are not alone, surround yourself with people who fit well with your values.

Every time you move homes or take a different job or embark on a new relationship, you have a golden opportunity to reinvent yourself.

When I spend time with this person or group, do I feel like I’m getting closer to or further away from who I want to be?

“Do not give your attention to what others do or fail to do; give it to what you do or fail to do.” I quickly figured out to say things like

We’re wired to conform. Your brain would rather not deal with conflict and debate. It would much prefer to lounge in the comfort of like-mindedness.

Monks lead with awareness. We approach negativity—any type of conflict, really—by taking a step back to remove ourselves from the emotional charge of the moment.

freedom is the only condition for happiness. If,

Another way to reduce negativity if you can’t remove it is to regulate how much time you allow a person to occupy based on their energy.

The more we define ourselves in relation to the people around us, the more lost we are.

Remember, saying whatever we want, whenever we want, however we want, is not freedom. Real freedom is not feeling the need to say these things.

forgiveness: If they apologize, then I’ll apologize. If they promise never to do it again, I’ll forgive them.

Giving and receiving forgiveness both have health benefits. When we make forgiveness a regular part of our spiritual practice, we start to notice all of our relationships blossoming.

“The world is filled with negativity. I want people to watch me and think, ‘I feel good, and I’m going to make somebody else feel good today.’”

The less time you fixate on everyone else, the more time you have to focus on yourself.

The truth is, we’ll never live entirely without fear and anxiety. We’ll never be able to fix our economic, social, and political climates to entirely eliminate conflict and uncertainty,

The first thing we need to realize about stress is that it doesn’t do a good job of classifying problems.

The process of learning to work with fear isn’t just about doing a few exercises that solve everything, it’s about changing your attitude toward fear, understanding that it has something to offer, then committing to doing the work of identifying and trying to shift out of your pattern of distraction every time it appears.

“You’ve got to recognize your pain.”

THE CAUSE OF FEAR: ATTACHMENT. THE CURE FOR FEAR: DETACHMENT

Fear makes us fiction writers.

I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of, so they can see that it’s not the answer.”

“As long as we keep attaching our happiness to the external events of our lives, which are ever changing, we’ll always be left waiting for it.”

The more we upgrade from trying to fulfill our selfish needs to doing things out of service and love, the more we can achieve.

Be honest about what your intention is. The worst thing you can do is pretend to yourself that you’re acting out of service when all you want is material success.

Of course, simply having intentions isn’t enough. We have to take action to help those seeds grow.

“Those who love peace must learn to organize as effectively as those who love war.” When people come to me seeking guidance, I constantly hear, “I wish … I wish … I wish …”

Passion + Expertise + Usefulness = Dharma.

If we’re only excited when people say nice things about our work, it’s a sign that we’re not passionate about the work itself.

You can’t be anything you want. But you can be everything you are.

Varnas aren’t determined by birth. They’re meant to help us understand our true nature and inclinations. You’re not creative just because your parents are.

Once you have a sense of your dharma, it’s up to you to set up your life so that you can live it.

A person who isn’t living their dharma is like a fish out of water. You can give the fish all the riches in the world, but it will die unless it’s returned to the water.

it makes no sense to stick to your dharma. Everyone knows that you should push yourself.

The emotion you fall asleep with at night is most likely the emotion you’ll wake up with in the morning.

never be perfect, and the goal isn’t perfection. Life is not going to go your way. You have to go your way and take life with you. Understanding this will help you be prepared for whatever may come.

When you fail, don’t judge the process and don’t judge yourself. Give yourself latitude to recover and return to a flexible focus on what you want.

“Never trust [a] spiritual leader who cannot dance.” When we dance, there are no rules.

I can think of no better tool to help you find flexibility and control than meditation.

In meditation, we find clarity on who we need to be right now, in order to be our best in the moment. Our breath connects with our minds, our souls are uplifted in song, and in that place of energy and unity, we find answers.

I’m going to give you a daily practice that includes all of them: breathwork, visualization, and chanting.

There is no measure of success, no goal, and no end to a meditation practice. Don’t look for results. Just keep doing it. Practice consistently for four to twelve weeks, and you’ll start to notice the effects.

Life begins with breath, breath carries you through all your days, and life and breath end together.

Monks believe we should prepare for death. We don’t want to arrive at the end of our days knowing we haven’t lived a purposeful, service-based, meaningful life.