Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day

by Jay Shetty

What can I offer first? How can I serve? Am I a teacher, a peer, or a student? Which of the four Cs do I give to this person?

look beyond the people you recognize, beyond your comfort zone, to strangers and people you don’t understand. You don’t have to befriend them all, but see them all as equal, with equality of soul and the potential to add variety to your knowledge and experience.

When an important person lets us down, the blow to our trust reverberates across all of our relationships.

We tend to conflate trustworthiness with likability.

We also tend to trust people we find attractive.

The biggest mistake we make is to assume that everyone else operates just like us.

feel grateful for the people you can trust and to feel

honored by those who trust you.

“Our language has wisely sensed these two sides of man’s being alone. It has created the word ‘loneliness’ to express the pain of being alone.

And it has created the word ‘solitude’ to express the glory of being alone.”

Instead of looking for others to make me happy, I was able to be that person for myself.

shows love through presence and attention.

Listening intentionally means looking for the emotions behind the words, asking questions to further understand, incorporating what you’ve learned into your knowledge of the other person,

Listening also involves creating an atmosphere of trust, where the person feels welcome and safe.

The vulnerability of exposing yourself is a way of giving trust and showing respect for another person’s opinion.

Tell the important people in your life how you like to receive love.

“This is what would make me feel more loved and appreciated”

but we don’t look at what we really need. How do we want to be cared for? What makes us feel loved?

“Often, we get crushes on others not because we truly love and understand them, but to distract ourselves from our suffering.

When we learn to love and understand ourselves and have true compassion for ourselves, then we can truly love...

until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex; but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life.

Love is kept alive by creating more new memories—by continuing to learn and grow together.

Fresh experiences bring excitement into your life and build a stronger bond.

Have a candlelit dinner in the middle of the week. Read a book to each other before bed instead of staring at your phones.

but if it never reaches a satisfying level, you need to decide whether to accept it or move on.

What did you lose? Is your disappointment tied to who the person was, or who they weren’t?

your value doesn’t depend on someone’s ability to fully appreciate you.

The key is always to maintain both journeys—inward and outward.”

let go of the influences of external noise, fear, envy, and false goals.

We seek to leave a place cleaner than we found it, people happier than we found them, the world better than we found it.

“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion.

Service builds self-esteem. Helping others tells you that you’re making a difference in the world.

You have a sense of meaning and purpose.

Take care of yourself—yes. But don’t wait until you have enough time and money to serve. You will never have enough.

people with fewer resources tend to need to lean on others—family members, friends, those in their community—for help.

You’re not saving anyone

by helping them—you need help as much as they do.

Words themselves have power—they can change how we see the world and how we grow.

We meditate to listen and find clarity.

“May all beings everywhere be happy and free, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all.”

Life is not going to go your way. You have to go your way and take life with you.

each: “I am happy about who I am becoming. I am open to all opportunities and possibilities.

am worthy of real love. I am ready to serve with

Don’t look for results. Just keep doing it.

Meditation is a signal or a mirror. If you meditate and can’t focus, you’ll see that you’re living a distracted life and need to feel

order, balance, and simplicity.

We measure our lives not by how big or small our impact is, but by how we make people feel.

Working on ourselves is an unending practice. Have patience.