When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your Community From Emotional and Spiritual Abuse

by Chuck DeGroat

TRAUMATIC EMOTIONAL ABUSE Perhaps the most frightening thing about narcissism’s bite is that it often comes without leaving a physical wound. The trauma inflicted can look like humiliation, hypercriticism, silence, exclusion, affairs, flirtation, jealousy, extreme mood swings, crude jokes, constant jealousy, bargaining for love, guilt, shame, control of finances, sexual manipulation, blame shifting, isolating one from friends and family, threats, boundary violations, and much more.2 This is by no means an exhaustive list, but it illustrates the complex reality of psychological/emotional abuse. While physical scars or bruises may not appear, psychotherapist Daniel Shaw writes that “what is always present is the invisible, interior pain inflicted on the other.”