Here are two terms that I think are largely useless. One is “feeling sorry for my/yourself.” People use that one to knock people who are trying, usually unsuccessfully, to deal with something. They’re not feeling sorry for themselves; they’re trying to deal with a situation and are often severely outmatched because their temperament, experience, and emotional makeup are not up to the task at hand. But! But! They are trying to handle it. So instead of describing folks that way, maybe try to help, or at least cut them/yourself some slack.
