It's Not About You: A Brief Guide to a Meaningful Life

by Tom Rath

Your life has an unknown expiration date. Your efforts and contributions to others do not. The time, energy, and resources you invest in people you care for and your community keep growing forever.

We are, to a large degree, the product of what others have contributed to our lives.

Life is about what you put back into the world, not what you take out of it.

Let go of what’s beyond your control.

Look through the lens of what will outlive you, and you’ll quickly see past self.

You may not get to control how another person initiates your next interaction, but you always get to choose your response.

You always have a choice of how to respond. Start by assuming the other person has positive intent.

strong relationships are the cornerstone of growth and contribution in life.

Your greatest contributions are what you put into your closest relationships.

This study, titled “The iPhone Effect,” was based on an experiment with two hundred participants and examined the effect the mere presence of the smartphone has on a conversation. What the researchers essentially found is anytime a smartphone is visible, even if it is not ringing, buzzing, vibrating, or even powered on, it degrades the quality of the conversation for everyone. In the cases where the phone was visible, participants had lower levels of empathetic concern and found the conversations less fulfilling. The people who took their phones out were essentially saying, “This device comes before you and this conversation.”

Invest your time and attention wisely. They are your most precious resources.

You can’t be anything you want to be, but you can be a whole lot more of who you already are.

Every morning, wake up and remind yourself: it’s not about me. Then ask yourself: How can I contribute to another person’s life today?