It's Not About You: A Brief Guide to a Meaningful Life

by Tom Rath

Simply asking, “What can I do for another person?” is a good reminder to focus on what’s larger than self. It also orients your energy and work toward efforts that grow in your absence.

Look through the lens of what will outlive you, and you’ll quickly see past self.

You always have a choice of how to respond. Start by assuming the other person has positive intent.

I am increasingly convinced that even fifteen minutes of time spent listening to another person is one of the most valuable things you can do today.

he found it odd that we essentially wait until people die to praise and celebrate all their contributions in life and “fill their bucket.” So one night, I decided to tell my grandfather how much he had contributed to my life, in great detail, while he was alive.

In any role or place in life, you can take time today to focus on a contribution that will continue to grow. This contribution can be to a person, a project, or a work of art. What matters is that you see how your effort can benefit other lives, now and into the future.

While your talents are nature’s best building blocks, they serve the world best when your efforts are directed outward—not inward. Being “anything you want” or “more of who you already are” doesn’t add value for society unless it provides something others need. Simply put, your strengths and efforts must be focused on specific contributions you can make to other people’s lives.

Real growth is the product of following your contributions more than your passions. Simply asking, “What can I contribute?” leads to a better path and result than starting with yourself. This applies far beyond the realm of careers.

One thing I learned from this experience is that we must find ways to celebrate people’s lives and contributions while they are still alive. We need far more celebrations of life . . . even before people know they are dying.

In the end, you are what you contributed to the world.

When you think about getting over yourself and doing more for others, I encourage you to learn from those who shaped your story. Take a few moments now to think about some of the people who have had the greatest influence on your life. What can you learn from them?

Every morning, wake up and remind yourself: it’s not about me. Then ask yourself: How can I contribute to another person’s life today?

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