It's Not About You: A Brief Guide to a Meaningful Life

by Tom Rath

how every exchange with another person either “filled their bucket or dipped from it.” He also taught me the best way to fill my own bucket was to spend time filling other people’s.

When you move past self, life is simpler and less stressful.

there was nothing to be gained from dwelling on why this happened or what was beyond my control.

you get to decide if you will dig in on the negative tone or try to turn things around. With that choice, you will likely set off a cascading process that will make your day progressively better—or progressively worse.

When you see a rare opportunity, take it.

Life is too brief for living with regrets.

Tell someone how they have contributed to your life . . . while they are still around to hear it.

What matters is that you see how your effort can benefit other lives, now and into the future.

Plant a few seeds today that could grow for years to come.

You can’t be anything you want to be, but you can be a whole lot more of who you already are.

To be clear: I am more confident than ever that you cannot be anything you want to be. What I struggle with is the part about trying to be more of who you already are. When I reflect on that advice, my concern is how it can feed into a self-focused mindset.

While your talents are nature’s best building blocks, they serve the world best when your efforts are directed outward—not inward.

Simply put, your strengths and efforts must be focused on specific contributions you can make to other people’s lives.

he showed us how orienting your efforts outward creates perpetual growth for generations to come. Contribution starts when you see beyond self.

Real growth is the product of following your contributions more than your passions. Simply asking, “What can I contribute?” leads to a better path and result than starting with yourself. This applies far beyond the realm of careers.

According to top researchers who reviewed hundreds of studies on this subject, the defining features of a meaningful life are “connecting and contributing to something beyond the self.”

every hour you devote to answering the question “What are you doing for others?” becomes something that gets to live on.

Every morning, wake up and remind yourself: it’s not about me. Then ask yourself: How can I contribute to another person’s life today?