It's Not About You: A Brief Guide to a Meaningful Life

by Tom Rath

But when I was a kid, he kept it simple and described how every exchange with another person either “filled their bucket or dipped from it.” He also taught me the best way to fill my own bucket was to spend time filling other people’s.

Your life has an unknown expiration date. Your efforts and contributions to others do not. The time, energy, and resources you invest in people you care for and your community keep growing forever.

We are, to a large degree, the product of what others have contributed to our lives. From relationships to experiences and the environment in which we are raised, life is shaped by the actions of others, for better and for worse. This is more important to acknowledge than you may imagine, in an era where self-oriented thinking and development reign.

Life is about what you put back into the world, not what you take out of it.

You may not get to control how another person initiates your next interaction, but you always get to choose your response.

Even when you’re having a horrible day and someone says something rude to you without reason, you get to decide if you will dig in on the negative tone or try to turn things around.

By choosing not to assume positive intent, they increase their own hostility levels in a way that is likely to carry forward for at least hours, if not days.

What would matter more was the time I spent with my friends and family.

I am increasingly convinced that even fifteen minutes of time spent listening to another person is one of the most valuable things you can do today.

Invest your time and attention wisely. They are your most precious resources.

You do not need to be defined by a family background or chronic condition.

When you see a rare opportunity, take it. Life is too brief for living with regrets.

Plant a few seeds today that could grow for years to come.

Don’s face and body showed no visual sign of response, but she read like his ears and mind were listening. She was so engrossed in the story she was reading she didn’t notice my head in the door, so I stepped back into the hall and just listened for a while.

My experience over these years also showed me how the most meaningful contributions in life start at home.

You have to find work that you know in your heart is making a positive contribution.

You can’t be anything you want to be, but you can be a whole lot more of who you already are.

I have read that Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. described “life’s most persistent and urgent question” as being “What are you doing for others?”

the defining features of a meaningful life are “connecting and contributing to something beyond the self.”

The work you do should improve your well-being so you can do more for others.

Every morning, wake up and remind yourself: it’s not about me. Then ask yourself: How can I contribute to another person’s life today?