It's Not About You: A Brief Guide to a Meaningful Life

by Tom Rath

Life is not about you. It’s about what you do for others.

The key to creating collective well-being is to start by improving the life of another person, not your own.

Your life has an unknown expiration date. Your efforts and contributions to others do not. The time, energy, and resources you invest in people you care for and your community keep growing forever.

Step 1: Get Over Yourself

We are, to a large degree, the product of what others have contributed to our lives.

Life is about what you put back into the world, not what you take out of it.

Let go of what’s beyond your control.

Step 2: Invest in the People Who Matter Most

You may not get to control how another person initiates your next interaction, but you always get to choose your response.

You always have a choice of how to respond. Start by assuming the other person has positive intent.

The worst thing you can do during a challenging time is to withdraw from relationships and social circles.

strong relationships are the cornerstone of growth and contribution in life.

Your greatest contributions are what you put into your closest relationships.

Invest your time and attention wisely. They are your most precious resources.

Step 3: Focus on What Will Grow When You Are Gone

The greatest strength is helping another person to uncover a hidden talent.

You do not need to be defined by a family background or chronic condition.

When you see a rare opportunity, take it. Life is too brief for living with regrets.

Tell someone how they have contributed to your life . . . while they are still around to hear it.

You can’t be anything you want to be, but you can be a whole lot more of who you already are.

Scientists have determined human beings are innately other-directed, which they refer to as being “prosocial.”

The work you do should improve your well-being so you can do more for others.

In the end, you are what you contributed to the world.

Every morning, wake up and remind yourself: it’s not about me. Then ask yourself: How can I contribute to another person’s life today?