It's Not About You: A Brief Guide to a Meaningful Life

by Tom Rath

Your life has an unknown expiration date. Your efforts and contributions to others do not. The time, energy, and resources you invest in people you care for and your community keep growing forever.

We have the opportunity, every day, to contribute to collective efforts and others’ lives. These contributions will live on, well beyond our brief life span here on earth.

We are, to a large degree, the product of what others have contributed to our lives. From relationships to experiences and the environment in which we are raised, life is shaped by the actions of others, for better and for worse.

Life is about what you put back into the world, not what you take out of it.

Let go of what’s beyond your control.

The one thing we can all guarantee is that our lives will end at some point.

I have found that time is more valuable when you can see your mortality on the horizon.

Invest in the People Who Matter Most

You may not get to control how another person initiates your next interaction, but you always get to choose your response.

You always have a choice of how to respond.

I am increasingly convinced that even fifteen minutes of time spent listening to another person is one of the most valuable things you can do today.

In this era of hyperdistraction, asking great questions and listening are two of the qualities we look for most

Essentially, giving another person your undivided attention is a measure of how much you care. Intently listening, even to people you have just met, is a remarkable way to create new relationships and deepen existing ones. At a minimum, when you plan and choose to spend time with a friend, make it count.

Invest your time and attention wisely. They are your most precious resources.

When you see a rare opportunity, take it. Life is too brief for living with regrets.

Tell someone how they have contributed to your life . . . while they are still around to hear it.

There are things we all have the opportunity to do for others, every single day. In any role or place in life, you can take time today to focus on a contribution that will continue to grow. This contribution can be to a person, a project, or a work of art. What matters is that you see how your effort can benefit other lives, now and into the future.

Plant a few seeds today that could grow for years to come.

You can’t be anything you want to be, but you can be a whole lot more of who you already are.

Tomorrow is gone in an instant, another month rolls by, and eventually you have missed years, and then decades, of opportunity to make meaningful and substantive contributions.

Knowing who you are—and who you are not—is essential. But it is only a starting point.

In the end, you won’t get to stay around forever, but your contributions will.

Even small acts of generosity trigger changes in our brains that make us happier.

we must find ways to celebrate people’s lives and contributions while they are still alive. We need far more celebrations of life . . . even before people know they are dying.

we only have today to invest in what could outlive us. After today, there are no guarantees.

In the end, you are what you contributed to the world.