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In fact, it would probably seem like we’d get sick of seeing each other’s faces and start sniping at one another for no reason at all. And all that would be, well, pretty fucking accurate.
We may strangle each other to death, but then we want to be buried next to one another.
“I think we need that Tempur-Pedic thingamajig. The one with that lady jumping on the bed with a bowling ball and a wine glass.” “Mm-hmm, and then we can go to Petco for a muzzle.”
He gave me his back, called me a damned mutt, and headed back into dreamland.
Every time I rode the damned thing, I felt like I’d just cheated death, like the only thing between me and a horrible end was an elevator held together by twisty ties, duct tape, and prayers.
By the time I got to my office, he was right on my heels. “Hey.” “Hay is for horses,” I informed him as I sank down in my desk chair.
“She requested you specifically.” “But why? Danny’s head of the unit.” “I know that. But he’s not here and you are, so you’re on deck.” “You have seniority.” He shrugged. “This whole unit was your idea.” “It was not my idea, it was Danny’s idea.” “So she should talk to Danny,” he said promptly. “Danny’s not here,” I reminded him. “And round and round we go.”
when you learn teleportation, you teach others.
Miss you already, butter. You and my belly were going to be besties for life and give the cold shoulder to my cholesterol.
“I forgot we fuck for audiences now.”
Just when I was about to ask if we’d found the road to Narnia—and just where the hell was the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe—Mason inhaled swiftly.
“Like a dog could stand you. The first opportunity he got, he’d walk you straight into traffic.”
I’d had some horny moments in my life, but I’d never let Danny fuck me behind a bush. In the backseat of his cruiser maybe, but never a park bush. I’ve got class, you know.
I missed by a mile and spent three minutes convincing myself that I actually did get him... despite the complete lack of evidence. Satisfied that I was an efficient spider assassin and the body had most likely vaporized—seemed legit—I gingerly pulled up my chair and got started.
He was a loveable asshole who’d I’d originally had a lot of friction with, but he was growing on me slowly, just like any good fungus.
“A Mind Your Own Business-osaur. descendent of the What’s It To Ya’ Rex,”
In the event of my death, I expected Danny to throw my laptop on the interstate… in the name of love. And make sure a semi hit it doing eighty.
People that naïve didn’t just walk around, did they? Surely they were kept in a kangaroo mama’s pouch for their own safety, right?
His voice was muffled as he spoke, probably since he had more nuts tucked in his jaw than an industrious squirrel.
Probably spotted some small animal nearby to terrorize.
He looked away so fast, his eyeballs probably caught whiplash.
“Last time I checked, we’re cops. We can’t turn down donuts. People will talk, Daniel.”
I wasn’t a ghost whisperer or a detective when I was with him. I was just Rain. I liked that—a lot.
I made sure my towel was still tucked to avoid multiple ghost opinions on the size of my dick.
Maybe I could still rent a tuxedo in time to attend the Cocktease awards.
“Visa and Mastercard accepted?” “What do you expect them to get paid with? Spiritual vouchers?”
I guess I had no room to talk. If ever there was a person who would appreciate my full name, it would be a man named Tree.
I sighed. “What kind of name is Dakota Daydream?” “I don’t know.” His expression was placid, but his eyes danced. “Rainstorm.” Touché, motherfucker. Touché.
“Of course I love you. More importantly, I like you.”
“Love is this unstoppable force that you have very little control over. Sometimes you love the people that you shouldn’t. Sometimes you love people who’ve hurt you over and over again.”
When it came to picking parents, Danny had pulled two Joker’s Wild from the deck.
“That’s love for you. Making decisions all on its own. I don’t have any say in that. I love you because my heart says so.” He sent me a crooked smile. “I like you because I say so.”
I could forgive him for shaking me out of bed at the crack of dawn to get bitch slapped by a guru. #Neverforgetthough.
“If I could say it better than Hallmark, I wouldn’t have spent almost five bucks on a card.”
I loved stealing his thunder so much, he should probably save me in his phone as Thor.
“Besides,” he murmured into my neck, “I’m in no hurry to be anyplace you’re not.”
my bladder was such a fucking opportunist.
Unfortunately, my hair was impossibly straight and refused most styles with revolutionary fervor. #Resist.
The coffee we served was bad and the snacks were even worse. Discomfort tended to create confessions.
“I offer you sustenance and you call me a crackhead?”
I scrolled through the food app, salivating over photos while Danny worked on the squad’s schedule for the next week. I hemmed and hawed, enlarging photo after photo until Danny got exasperated and threatened to open a can of ravioli and eat it cold. Cold.
“I majored in the Essence of the Hot Pocket in college.”
My dick had died… or at least was in such critical condition, I should set up a GoFundMe page.
I realized that since I didn’t have the anatomy and physiology of a boa constrictor, I should probably stop eating like one.
No really, don’t mention it. But if you do, make the circumstances direr. You were an inch from certain death, and I was so heroic, Captain America gave me his shield.
I appreciated his matter-of-fact approach to the whole process, but he had the bedside manners of an orangutan.
I felt an overwhelming surge of love for him. No one cared about me like he did. No one. And I suspected no one loved me like he did either, although my mother would probably have something to say about that. Something loud.
For that, I could forgive him for being the most overprotective protector that ever protected. “I love you.”
My guy. More prepared for any eventuality than a Swiss Army knife.
“I need you,” he all but shouted, voice echoing off the tile. He looked down at his hands as if just realizing they were balled into fists and let them drop. “I know they need you. But fuck, Rain, I need you, too.”
