My Daddy Is a Hero: How Chris Watts Went from Family Man to Family Killer

by Lena Derhally

“Adam” and “Veronica” (I have changed their names to protect anonymity) had deep issues with their primary caretakers that were coming out in a very negative way in their adult relationship together. Adam grew up with a very overbearing mother who was constantly telling him what to feel instead of asking him how he felt. Adam found it easier to just become agreeable and quiet around his mother because it was easier than asserting his needs and opinions with her. Adam admittedly said in therapy that he didn’t even know what he wanted as an adult because he was never given the space to figure out what he wanted for himself as a child. Veronica grew up with a very cold and distant father. He rarely gave her attention and could be very critical toward her. When her parents divorced, her father became even more distant to the point where she barely ever saw him. Veronica developed a deep fear of abandonment, and even the slightest criticism from Adam would trigger that fear. When Adam and Veronica fought, Adam would shut down and become cold and critical, reminding Veronica of her father. She would become desperately anxious, fearful Adam would abandon her. Her way of dealing with the anxiety was to try to force Adam to connect with her through meltdowns and tears. Because Adam was so unemotional, especially in conflict, she hoped if she showed extreme emotions, she could cause him to react. All she wanted was a reaction from him, because in her mind, that would show her he car...

Couple behavior example