Penny's Protector (Icehome, #9)

by Ruby Dixon

These guys don't know the meaning of “friends with benefits,” or “casual sex,” or “one-night stand.” They know “mine” and “mate” and “forever.”

Every time S'bren comes to talk to me, it gets…awkward. He's like that weird, nerdy guy in the back of the class that never talked to anyone. Well, no, that's not exactly right. He's not nerdy. He's just…odd.

"Morning, S'bren." He freezes. His color shifts in a flurry, matching the sand, then the ocean, then drifting back to the normal ice blue of the island clans. His forehead seems dark, as if flushed, and he says nothing. Just mutely holds out a fish. See? Weird.

Not O’jek. Not I’rec. S’bren. My goofy stalker. He’s saved me.

It takes me a moment to realize that the thing is one of the smaller jellyfish-like creatures we jokingly call “spaghetti monsters,” but this one’s bigger and uglier than any I’ve ever seen. Its plate-sized mouth has pincers like an oversized ant, and I can’t stop staring in horror at the realization that it was going to eat me. Well, after I drowned.

Oh. I’m a heavy girl, and this is the first time a guy’s ever really, truly carried me. I feel weightless and protected and I immediately lean against his chest for warmth and comfort, snuggling close.

“You are both fools for not keeping an eye on the most precious thing on this beach,” he tells them. “I will take care of her. S’bren will not let her come to harm.”

I know I will never have P'nee for myself. I know I am just big, stupid S'bren…but I will watch over her, with or without resonance. If keeping her safe only nets me a smile or two…it will still be worth it. Because P'nee's smiles are everything.

I really want to be held while my ankle throbs and my brain spaces out on medicinal roots.

“You said a bad word, Mommy,” R’shel chimes in. “I sure as fuck did, sweetie. Eat your breakfast.”

“Mommy just likes hunting, too,” R’shel adds, as if this is something she hears regularly. L’z chuckles. “Amen. And Raahosh is terrible at breast feeding.”

“Just Th’rand. No one else.” “You’re not my dad.” “No, I am not.” It is a very odd thing to say.

And M’tok is the smart one. If he says it is a good plan, then it is a good plan.

like being out in the wild, exploring the next bend of the trail, testing my skills with hunting. I like being independent. I like learning how to take care of myself. Power in this world is different. It’s not who’s the strongest, it’s who can build a fire or keep themselves fed, and I want to be powerful in my own way. I want to be self-sufficient.

I sure don’t want to be told by a dude that I’m not allowed to hunt.

But…does it have to be right now? Because I’m really enjoying just being Penny Of The Wild, ferocious huntress and all-around human badass. I love hunting. I love exploring. I’m in no hurry to sit around camp and nurse babies yet.

She yawns again, rubbing her face against my chest. "Oh yeah. I could go to sleep right now…if you promise to be my teddy bear." I do not know what that is, but if she wants me to be something, I will. "I shall. Will you come with me?"

In a daze, I stare at the female, her hand still half-curled around my rigid, aching shaft. A snore escapes her and I can feel her drooling on my hip. I…do not know what just happened.

Oh boy. I fell asleep just before giving the man a blow job. What the fuck, me?

I can’t help but notice his loincloth, I guess because I keep envisioning his big fat balls. I had no idea balls were so appealing,

“What is roof-ee?” S’bren looks confused. “You drugged me so I’d have sex with you?” I’m horrified. Oh god, no wonder I wanted to slurp his dong. Now I’m glad I fell asleep. “What the everloving fuck, S’bren?” “No, I gave you tea so you would sleep and be quiet when I carried you away. M’tok said it was a good idea.” But he looks uncertain. “What does M’tok have to do with this?” I rub my eyes, unable to believe what I’m hearing. “You fucking drugged me!” “It was his idea.”

“Oh my god, you stripped me naked!” “You asked me to.” “I what?” “You kept saying ‘bare’ so I took your clothes off of you. I thought they bothered you.” Oh jeez. I have vague memories of calling him my teddy bear. Last night in a drugged haze, I guess he was cute and cuddly and appealing to me. Today, I’m appalled.

But that was also M’tok’s plan. S’bren just likes to cast me longing looks from the shadows and tries to give me raw fish.

“P’nee. Kissing should only be done because both want to touch mouths. It should not be a reward for taking you somewhere.” He looks shocked that I would even suggest such a thing. And he’s not even bringing up the blow job. My mouth curls into a smile.

“Which is why I’m safe with you. So what do you want in exchange for taking me to the fruit cave?” “I want nothing. If you wish to go there, I will take you there.” Awesome. I beam at him. “Road trip! This’ll be fun.”

"How old are you?" I ask him impulsively. S'bren glances over at me, then shrugs. "I have seen twenty-seven full turns of the season.“ I chuckle. "I'm older than you. I'm twenty-nine.” He shrugs. "This does not matter to me. I…" He frowns to himself and swallows the words.

"I do not mean to bother you. You have said my affection is not welcome, and I remember."

“I am sorry,” he finally says. I didn’t expect an apology, and it irks me that I’m getting one. “For?” “Because you were going to blow on my job and you did not want it.”

“It is already too late, P’nee. I lost my heart to you long ago.”

Sexy, thick arms are almost as appealing to me as his big, fascinating balls.

“If I resonated to you, I would be happy to put a sack over your head,” S’bren tells me solemnly. That makes me sit up, laughing. “What the fuck?” “Is that not your custom? G’hail told me of them.”

"No, you're great," she murmurs, snuggling closer to me. "Stay right here and let me touch you. You're warmer than any tea."

Do I dream of resonating to her? It is a foolish question. It is my only dream.

To have such a gift and abuse it. To have my P'nee in his arms, willing and warm and not try to pleasure her? To discard her? When she is all that I have ever wanted?

I cannot live hoping that bad things do not happen. I must take each day and embrace it.

I love the idea of being in love, but in the past, I've always been the one that loved more in the relationship. I've always been the giver, the pursuer, the one that changes to try and please the partner. Every single time, it's ended disastrously.

"But I really, really want to be someone's forever. I'm tired of just being someone's 'right now.' Do you understand?"

"I am going to wed-hing you when we get back to the tribe." I jerk the fur off my head, gaping at him. "You what?" S'bren gestures at the fur. "You cover your head. We will do the ceremony when we get back to your people. I will show you that I take no other to be my mate, pleasure or otherwise. You are my P'nee and I want no one else. So I will wed-hing you."

"If the time comes and you resonate to another, he will have to make room in the furs because I am not leaving you."

"I will find something special for you. Give me a few days." "Just make sure it's not a fish,"

"I like your face." "I am glad. I cannot do much about it," he murmurs, eyes still closed.

"Hi there," I whisper. "Ho," he murmurs, which is the traditional greeting of his people, but still makes me giggle madly. It sounds like he's calling me a “ho” and it cracks me up every time. "You are not supposed to laugh when your mate greets you," he chastises me, but he's grinning.

"I don't know why these fascinate me so much, but they do. I love how big they are."

“Get back, you shitty, ugly-ass bears!” I hear her scream.

His hair is incredibly glorious. His smile melts me. His balls are huge. I might have a thing for balls. Every girl’s got a kink, right?

“Bullshit.” “No shit,” he says. “And no balls…but you can hold mine if it helps you sleep.”

“And I promise to hold your balls all night tonight when we’re alone in our hut. Deal?”

Or it could be like…space mail from the space post office. We have no idea.