The Rudest Book Ever

by Shwetabh Gangwar

I can’t stop chasing after them. I can’t move on from that person. You can’t because a part of you is genuinely convinced that their union with your existence brings you the ultimate happiness. You feel that way because of the happiness that you once felt with them, which according to your mind is ‘the best feeling ever’. And because your goal in life is to be happy, and you currently don’t know of any other happiness better than what you felt with them, you obsess over them even though their presence is currently brutalising you with pain. If you miss them, it’s because they made you happy once. You miss that particular happiness, not them really. You will disregard their existence the moment you find it with another person. It’s because you are a happiness-junkie, that hit of happiness is much more valuable to you than your self-respect, mental health and the overall peacefulness in your life. So you say, fuck it, and keep going after that hit.