The first makes you responsible, the other a victim. Instead of finding tendencies, people and relationships to blame, you make yourself fully responsible for that failure. This is step one of the investigation. I deserve this. Whatever impact this failure causes, I deserve and take responsibility for it. Once you take ownership, it becomes your fuck-up. You are not a victim, it didn’t happen to you, you caused it. Once you own it, everything before that failure comes into scrutiny, all those people, relationships and tendencies that could have taken the blame; they all have to go under the
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