The Rudest Book Ever

by Shwetabh Gangwar

This is a very important stage. The truth is, there is no actual data to support all these claims, only impressions created in the first moments of interaction with these people and from what others say or feel about them. Therefore, your response should be: They may seem this way, but I don’t fucking know. Instead of doing that, your brain starts a brilliant new process called idealisation, which involves your imagination. When you start to idealise them, they begin to appear more special to you; you focus more on them and your expectations from them strengthen. You have already accepted without proof or confirmation that they are what your first impressions tell you. Now, you are running scenarios of them accepting you and becoming your friends, and you are making plans with them in your mind. You get hurt when none of that happens. In case it does happen, in the long run, let’s say, after years, you realise they are completely different from what you believed they were. Now they are completely human to you, which means regular, ordinary people with plenty of flaws, insecurities, and unimpressive accounts to their life’s story. Your excitement about them is over. The process repeats with new people.