We attack or withdraw when others begin to feel like enemies. We begin to think like predators and prey. The brain has a matching mechanism in the fast track that accompanies attack and withdrawal, rendering the other person no longer a resource that will help us—he or she becomes “not my people.” We have an enemy. When we are attached to others by love, however, our mind treats them as “my people” and will neither attack nor withdraw. Emotions may go up and down. We may stop to rest before we try again, but this is all aimed toward bringing us together once again.
