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To those of you seeking perfection: It’s here— Right here, in the palm of your hand. For nature doesn’t make mistakes, and you, my darling, are already perfect.
As for me, I worked in the greenhouse, as I always had. Because some things never changed, and I was one of them.
“Weddings and funerals—the bread and butter of any flower shop
Where I was unruffled, Lila shook her tail feathers like a peacock.
“You loved him. It’s a marvel how much we can overlook for the sake of love.”
I’d just convinced myself it was perfect, and he played the part of the perfect boyfriend. But he wouldn’t take a bullet for me. He wouldn’t sacrifice what he wanted for my sake. Not in a million years. I just wish I’d figured it out sooner.”
The easy way he laughed, the easy way he loved. But it was a lie, every moment, every kiss.
And I was a fool for believing him.
Because that was who I was—a woman who did something about it. I was a fixer, a problem solver, a perpetual motion machine who only moved in one direction. Forward. And forward I would go.
He’d heard every word I’d said, stored it all in his dumb puppy brain, and drew it up with the ease of a long-practiced artist.
“I like to think we accept the love we think we deserve, like the old adage says. If you meet as equals, there’s nothing to hide. And if you’re so certain everyone’s out to hurt you, you’ll probably end up hurt.”
I generally thought myself a kind and gracious woman, but I wondered if I looked it to the average eye and had my doubts.
“Nature’s a curious thing. Sometimes it disguises one thing as another, hides its nature to protect it.”
For the first time in a very long time, I felt understood and heard, and by a man who didn’t know me at all.
We all have to put up with things we hate to be successful.”
Everybody has things they love and things they hate, and I aim to figure out yours.”
She was beautiful because she was mine.
“As long as I’m with you, everything’s all right.”
you want to really live in the moment, stop worrying so much about what if and just go for it.
“Because I don’t want to lose you.”
I’m very serious where you’re concerned too. I’m not going anywhere, Kash—I’m afraid you’re stuck with me.”
I’d do just about anything for him.
“It doesn’t matter that she’s here or what she says. Everything is going to be perfect—you know that deep down. Because you have orchestrated this event, and you don’t do anything halfway. You don’t even do it all the way. You don’t settle for anything but above and beyond, and she’ll see it. Even if she doesn’t acknowledge it, she’ll see it.”
That life is all I want. But if I can’t have him, at least I walked away from the rest of it. I can start over. Work toward a new life, the one grown-up me has figured out she wants instead of the one teenage me imagined she wanted.”
“Love doesn’t wonder. It doesn’t question. It trusts with its whole self, as I should have. And when I looked past the things I feared, I uncovered the truth—I was afraid, and I was a fool. Can you forgive me for my pride? Can you absolve me for all the ways I hurt you? Because of all the things I want, your happiness is first and always.”
But in the end, there was no choice to be made. Because my perfect life isn’t perfect, not without you.”
