How Not To Be a Boy

by Robert Webb

One of the oddest things about being terminally ill is that you get a new job – host. Essentially, she is looking after them – telling Derek where to find another vase for the flowers, nodding through the strained banter, the mirthless gags, the bullshit about ‘when you’re back on your feet’ etc. One friend that she’s never much liked even weeps on her – cheers. If dying is a test of character, so is being that person’s friend. Mum and Carole get top scores. Some fail completely. Most of us muddle through.

It’s all just a painful march towards death so why prolong it and all that stopped me was what it would do to everyone else.

‘There’s been a great deal of separation in your life. I think you use those experiences as a model for current adversity and that makes things feel considerably worse than they might do otherwise. I think you’ve got a problem. And I think we can help.’

I want them all to have the freedom to express their individual and contradictory selves with confidence and humility.