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Low trust creates hidden agendas, politics, interpersonal conflict, interdepartmental rivalries, win-lose thinking, defensive and protective communication—all of which reduce the speed of trust.
trust relationship is palpable! Take communication. In a high-trust relationship, you can say the wrong thing, and people will still get your meaning. In a low-trust relationship, you can be very measured, even precise, and they’ll still misinterpret you.
Only 45% of employees have trust and confidence in senior management.
The number one reason people leave their jobs is a bad relationship with their boss.
As my father has often said, we judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior. This is why, as we’ll discuss later, one of the fastest ways to restore trust is to make and keep commitments—even very small commitments—to ourselves and to others.
Again, when trust is low, speed goes down and cost goes up. When trust is high, speed goes up and cost goes down.
I know of leading organizations who ask their employees directly the following simple question in formal, 360-degree feedback processes: “Do you trust your boss?” These companies have learned that the answer to this one question is more predictive of team and organizational performance than any other question they might ask.
MYTH REALITY Trust is soft. Trust is hard, real, and quantifiable. It measurably affects both speed and cost. Trust is slow. Nothing is as fast as the speed of trust. Trust is built solely on integrity. Trust is a function of both character (which includes integrity) and competence. You either have trust or you don’t. Trust can be both created and destroyed. Once lost, trust cannot be restored. Though difficult, in most cases lost trust can be restored. You can’t teach trust. Trust can be effectively taught and learned, and it can become a leverageable, strategic advantage. Trusting people is
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Trust is a function of two things: character and competence. Character includes your integrity, your motive, your intent with people. Competence includes your capabilities, your skills, your results, your track record. And both are vital.
While it may come more naturally for us to think of trust in terms of character, it’s equally important that we also learn to think in terms of competence. Think about it—people trust people who make things happen.
Trust is equal parts character and competence. Both are absolutely necessary. From the family room to the boardroom, you can look at any leadership failure, and it’s always a failure of one or the other.
Leadership is getting results in a way that inspires trust.
Ask yourself . . . mercilessly: Do I exude trust? E-x-u-d-e. Big word. Do I smack of “trust”? Think about it. Carefully.
One way to visualize the importance of all 4 Cores of Credibility is through the metaphor of a tree. Integrity is essentially below the surface. It is the root system out of which everything else
grows. Intent becomes somewhat more visible. It is the trunk that emerges from beneath the surface out into the open. Capabilities are the branches. They are the capacities that enable us to produce. Results are the fruits—the visible, tangible, measurable outcomes that are most easily seen and evaluated by others.
People who are congruent act in harmony with their deepest values and beliefs. They walk their talk. When they feel they ought to do something, they do it. They’re not driven by extrinsic forces, including the opinions of others or the expediency of the moment. The voice they listen and respond to is the quiet voice of conscience.
Integrity also includes humility.
So how does humility manifest itself in leadership and in life? A humble person is more concerned about what is right than about being right, about acting on good ideas than having the ideas, about embracing new truth than defending outdated position, about building the team than exalting self, about recognizing contribution than being recognized for making it.
Integrity also includes the courage to do the right thing—even when it’s hard.
Finally, understand that when keeping your commitment becomes hard, you have two choices: You can change your behavior to match your commitment, or you can lower your values to match your behavior.
To the degree to which you remain open to new ideas, possibilities, and growth, you create a trust dividend; to the degree you do not, you create a trust tax that impacts both your current and future performance.
The greater your integrity—the more honest, congruent, humble, and courageous you are—the more credibility you will have and the more trust you will inspire. The more you will be able to transform trust taxes into trust dividends in every dimension of your life.
This whole experience brings up some of the important issues we’re dealing with when we talk about intent: • Intent matters. • It grows out of character. • While we tend to judge ourselves by our intent, we tend to judge others by their behavior. • We also tend to judge others’ intent based on our own paradigms and experience.
• Our perception of intent has a huge impact on trust. • People often distrust us because of the conclusions they draw about what we do. • It is important for us to actively influence the conclusions others draw by “declaring our intent.”
I maintain that this undeniable connection between caring and performance exists because caring and concern engender trust.
The agenda that generally inspires the greatest trust is seeking mutual benefit
The behavior that best creates credibility and inspires trust is acting
in the best interest of others.
In many organizations, the message communicated by behavior is not “We care”; it’s “You’re expendable, replaceable. What we care about is profit.”
we tend to judge others based on their behavior, and ourselves based on our intent.
Declaring your intent and expressing your agenda and motives can be very powerful, particularly if your behavior is being misinterpreted or misconstrued by others. It’s also valuable as a means of establishing trust in new relationships.
“At the end of the day, people follow those who know where they’re going.”
the ability to create and sustain trust is the number one leadership competency of the new collaborative economy, and the single most critical skill for any leader today.
In our businesses, relationships, families, and personal lives, there is wisdom in recognizing the capacity of people to learn from their mistakes and to change.
Understanding and appreciating the importance of a supportive role in getting results helps us all to more appropriately value our own contributions, as well as the contributions of others.
accomplishing results will build credibility and trust. But simply taking responsibility for results will also build credibility and trust—sometimes even when the results are not good . . . and sometimes when they were not even your fault.
Sometimes entire cultures are held hostage by a downward cycle of spin and posturing. This diminishes trust and creates an additional “withholding tax” where people withhold information and keep things “close to the vest.” As a result, companies often have three meetings instead of one: the premeetings (to prepare and position), the meetings themselves (where, because of all the spin and withholding, very little discussion of the real issues take place), and then the “meetings after the meetings” (the smaller meetings where the real discussion happens and the real issues are aired).
SUMMARY: BEHAVIOR #1—TALK STRAIGHT Be honest. Tell the truth. Let people know where you stand. Use simple language. Call things what they are. Demonstrate integrity. Don’t manipulate people or distort facts. Don’t spin the truth. Don’t leave false impressions.
SUMMARY: BEHAVIOR #2—DEMONSTRATE RESPECT Genuinely care for others. Show you care. Respect the dignity of every person and every role. Treat everyone with respect, especially those who can’t do anything for you. Show kindness in the little things. Don’t fake caring. Don’t attempt to be “efficient” with people.
SUMMARY: BEHAVIOR #4—RIGHT WRONGS Make things right when you’re wrong. Apologize quickly. Make restitution where possible. Practice “service recoveries.” Demonstrate humility. Don’t cover things up. Don’t let pride get in the way of doing the right thing.
There are many ways to show loyalty—big and small—but in this chapter we will focus on two dimensions: giving credit to others, and speaking about people as though they were present.
SPEAK ABOUT OTHERS AS IF THEY WERE PRESENT
SUMMARY: BEHAVIOR #5’SHOW LOYALTY Give credit to others. Speak about people as if they were present. Represent others who aren’t there to speak for themselves. Don’t bad-mouth others behind their backs. When you must talk about others, check your intent. Don’t disclose others’ private information.
SUMMARY: BEHAVIOR #6—DELIVER RESULTS Establish a track record of results. Get the right things done. Make things happen. Accomplish what you’re hired to do. Be on time and within budget. Don’t overpromise and underdeliver. Don’t make excuses for not delivering.
SUMMARY: BEHAVIOR #7—GET BETTER Continuously improve. Increase your Capabilities. Be a constant learner. Develop feedback systems—both formal and informal. Act on the feedback you receive. Thank people for feedback. Don’t consider yourself above feedback. Don’t assume today’s knowledge and skills will be sufficient for tomorrow’s challenges.
SUMMARY: BEHAVIOR #8—CONFRONT REALITY Take issues head on, even the “undiscussables.” Address the tough stuff directly. Acknowledge the unsaid. Confront issues before they turn into major problems. Confront the reality, not the person. Remove the “sword from their hands.” Lead out courageously in conversation. Don’t skirt the real issues. Don’t bury your head in the sand.
SUMMARY: BEHAVIOR #9—CLARIFY EXPECTATIONS Disclose and reveal expectations. Discuss them. Validate them. Renegotiate them if needed and possible. Don’t violate expectations. Don’t assume that expectations are clear or shared.
SUMMARY: BEHAVIOR #10—PRACTICE ACCOUNTABILITY Hold yourself accountable first; hold others accountable second. Take responsibility for results, good or bad. Be clear on how you’ll communicate how you’re doing—and how others are doing. Don’t avoid or shirk responsibility. Don’t blame others or point fingers when things go wrong.
SUMMARY: BEHAVIOR #11—LISTEN FIRST Listen before you speak. Understand. Diagnose. Listen with your ears—and your eyes and heart. Find out what the most important behaviors are to the people you’re working with. Don’t assume you know what matters most to others. Don’t presume you have all the answers—or all the questions.
Behavior #12—Keep Commitments—is the “Big Kahuna” of all behaviors. It’s the quickest way to build trust in any relationship—be it with an employee, a boss, a team member, a customer, a supplier, a spouse, a child, or the public in general. Its opposite—to break commitments or violate promises—is, without question, the quickest way to destroy trust.
