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November 5, 2013 - January 12, 2014
The secret, the clue, the common thread is simply how you treat folks. It’s how you treat your fellow man, and how you treat your team members
Behavior #2 is Demonstrate Respect.
the “Waiter Rule.” It’s based on the idea that you can learn a lot about a person by the way he or she treats the waiter in a restaurant.
SUMMARY: BEHAVIOR #2— DEMONSTRATE RESPECT Genuinely care for others. Show you care. Respect the dignity of every person and every role. Treat everyone with respect, especially those who can’t do anything for you. Show kindness in the little things. Don’t fake caring. Don’t attempt to be “efficient” with people.
Transparency—is about being open. It’s about being real and genuine and telling the truth in a way people can verify. It’s based on the principles of honesty, openness, integrity, and authenticity.
CREATE TRANSPARENCY Tell the truth in a way people can verify. Get real and genuine. Be open and authentic. Err on the side of disclosure. Operate on the premise of “What you see is what you get.” Don’t have hidden agendas. Don’t hide information.
To know what is right and not to do it is the worst cowardice. —CONFUCIUS
Behavior #4—Right Wrongs—is more than simply apologizing; it’s also making restitution. It’s making up and making whole. It’s taking action. It’s doing what you can to correct the mistake…and then a little more.
The reality is that everybody makes mistakes. The issue isn’t whether you will make them, it’s what you will do about them. It’s whether you will choose the path of humility and courage or the path of ego and pride.
When you build trust with one, you build trust with many.
By being forgiving, for example, you enable others to more easily apologize and make restitution to you.
RIGHT WRONGS Make things right when you’re wrong. Apologize quickly. Make restitution where possible. Practice “service recoveries.” Demonstrate personal humility. Don’t cover things up. Don’t let pride get in the way of doing the right thing.
Jim Collins. He basically says that when things go well, you look through the window; in other words, you look at everyone out there and all they did to contribute, and you give them the credit, attribution, recognition, acknowledgment, and appreciation. When things don’t go well, you look in the mirror. You don’t look out there and blame and accuse others; you look at yourself.
Speak about Others as if they were Present
Interestingly, people who talk about others behind their backs often seem to think that it will build some kind of camaraderie and trust with those who are there. But the exact opposite is true. When you talk about others behind their backs, it causes those who are present to think you’ll do the same to them when they’re not there. So it clearly has a negative geometric impact on trust.
To retain those who are present, be loyal to those who are absent. —STEPHEN R. COVEY
you’re building trust with those who are present by communicating that you would speak with respect about them, too, if they were not there.
SHOW LOYALTY Give credit freely. Acknowledge the contributions of others. Speak about people as if they were present. Represent others who aren’t there to speak for themselves. Don’t bad-mouth others behind their backs. Don’t disclose others’ private information.
We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. —HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW
it’s important in each situation to define the results that will build trust, and then deliver those results—consistently, on time, and within budget.
The next time you plan to Deliver Results, make sure you thoroughly understand the expectation.
DELIVER RESULTS Establish a track record of results. Get the right things done. Make things happen. Accomplish what you’re hired to do. Be on time and within budget. Don’t overpromise and underdeliver. Don’t make excuses for not delivering.
The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn. —ALVIN TOFFLER
Get Better is based on the principles of continuous improvement, learning, and change. It is what the Japanese call kaizen, and it builds enormous trust.
With the pace of change in today’s world, if you aren’t making a conscious effort to Get Better, you’re not just standing still; you’re getting farther and farther behind. You’re becoming less and less relevant because those around you are moving rapidly ahead.
In seeking to Get Better, there are two strategies that are particularly helpful in maximizing your effort: seek feedback, and learn from mistakes.
What is one thing we are now doing that you think we should continue doing? What is one thing we are now doing that you think we should stop doing? What is one thing we are not now doing that you think we should start doing?
The next time you make a mistake, rather than agonizing over it, reframe it as feedback.
Continuously improve. Increase your Capabilities. Be a constant learner. Develop feedback systems—both formal and informal. Act on the feedback you receive. Thank people for feedback. Don’t consider yourself above feedback. Don’t assume today’s knowledge and skills will be sufficient for tomorrow’s challenges.
Behavior #8—Confront Reality—is about taking the tough issues head-on. It’s about sharing the bad news as well as the good, naming the “elephant in the room,” addressing the “sacred cows,” and discussing the “
The next time you feel reluctant to confront reality at work or at home, explore your feelings. Are you hesitant because of fear of the outcome or fear of the pain? Consider the consequences of not confronting reality.
Address the tough stuff directly. Acknowledge the unsaid. Lead out courageously in conversation. Remove the “sword from their hands.” Don’t skirt the real issues. Don’t bury your head in the sand.
Clarify Expectations—is to create shared vision and agreement about what is to be done up front.
The opposite of Clarify Expectations is to leave expectations undefined—to assume they’re already known, or to fail to disclose them so there is no shared vision of the desired outcomes. This causes people to guess, wonder, or assume what expectations might be.
it’s wise to look at three variables—quality, speed, and cost—and realize that you can usually pick any two, but not all three.
When the environment of trust is strong enough, the achievement of high quality (value), high speed, and low cost becomes a realistic possibility.
even though it’s hard sometimes to clarify expectations—for example, to give someone a realistic delivery date instead of giving them the false promise of what they want to hear—it’s much better to do it up front than to disappoint them later.
Disclose and reveal expectations. Discuss them. Validate them. Renegotiate them if needed and possible. Don’t violate expectations. Don’t assume that expectations are clear or shared.
Behavior #10 is Practice Accountability.
It’s hard to hold someone accountable if they’re not clear on what the expectations are.
A good leader takes more than their fair share of the blame and gives more than their share of the credit. —ARNOLD GLASNOW
Russian proverb says, “Success has many fathers while failure is an orphan.
When people—particularly leaders—hold themselves accountable, it encourages others to do the same.
Accountability builds extraordinary trust in the culture when people feel secure in the knowledge that everyone will be held to certain standards.
Hold yourself accountable. Hold others accountable. Take responsibility for results. Be clear on how you’ll communicate how you’re doing—and how others are doing. Don’t avoid or shirk responsibility. Don’t blame others or point fingers when things go wrong.
If there is any great secret of success in life, it lies in the ability to put yourself in the other person’s place and to see things from his point of view—as well as your own. —HENRY F
To Listen First means not only to really listen (to genuinely seek to understand another person’s thoughts, feelings, experience, and point of view), but to do it first (before you try to diagnose, influence, or prescribe).
The counterfeit is pretend listening. It’s spending “listening” time thinking about your reply and just waiting for your turn to speak.
As Heinrich Pierer, CEO of Siemens AG, has said, “Leadership ultimately means understanding people.