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I just needed to register that he had the right aesthetic for the job.
Conversely, when I see someone who is consistently sloppy or doesn’t seem to mind wearing wrinkled clothes, it tells me that they don’t value themselves. That they’re not willing to put in a little extra work every day to present the best version of themselves.
If people were expecting me to radiate aggression and arrogance, I gave them humility instead. I smiled a lot. I even seemed a little shy.
Those execs had been mentally preparing themselves for an arctic blast, but all they got instead was a cool summer breeze. The difference between their perception and my reality disarmed them. By controlling the energy in the room, I learned I’d have a much easier time setting my agenda. People become so amazed at how nice I am that subconsciously they grow much more agreeable and receptive to whatever I’m proposing.
I’m not just saying that; scientists have done studies proving that a light touch makes people much more agreeable to your requests.
In short, a properly applied touch gets people to do whatever you want them to do.
First off, you can’t touch people anywhere other than between their elbow and their wrist. This is especially true if you’re a man interacting with a woman.
“Very observant of you. That’s something I picked up years ago. Whenever you’re around a lot of people and everyone’s trying to be heard, the secret is to speak as softly as possible. When someone speaks like that, our natural reaction is to lean in to them as close as possible. We don’t realize it, but when we do that, we’re transferring all our power to them.”
found that giving people less than they expected wasn’t just effective with verbal communication, but with body language, too.
“That’s a smart person. I need to pay more attention to them.”
If you don’t follow up that meeting with impressive ideas and a strong work ethic, the impression won’t be worth much. But if you can use your boss’s newfound interest to showcase the great work you’ve been doing, it’s really going to propel your trajectory.
that they both understood the importance of crafting a narrative, of making themselves appear to have already achieved a higher level of success than they were actually at. In time, they wouldn’t have to fake a thing. But if they hadn’t been a bit bold with the truth when they were first starting, they might never have got their own company off the ground.
project the confidence and energy of someone successful, it’s only a matter of time till true success comes and finds you.
I lit my own fire instead. By creating the perception that I was as hot as the major label artists of the day, I basically paved the way to becoming one myself.
Another technique you can employ to get something you want is to act like you don’t actually need it. It’s a technique that requires finesse, nuance, and unshakable confidence.
Everybody, it turns out, wants to do you a favor precisely when you don’t need it.
grumbling won’t change your reality. What will change it is figuring out how to project the energy and confidence that will make people want to treat you in a similar way.
In the simplest terms, Madoff’s scheme worked like this: he would encourage people to invest with his firm, but instead of actually putting their money in the stock exchange, he’d put it into his personal bank account. Then he’d make up fake stock reports that showed his investors getting an incredible return on their money. He guessed correctly that as long as people saw their money growing at above-market rates, they would keep it with him and let it ride.
All his energy and words would project the impression that he was operating out of abundance.
By applying zero pressure, he was able to circumvent all his friend’s security systems. The guy was so conditioned to people asking and pressing him for things that it never occurred to him to watch for the guy who wasn’t asking for anything.
The most important character trait they’ll demonstrate is confidence. Every time they hit a hurdle, or seem to be on a dead-end road, that confidence will be what gets them through.
It’s always a balancing act when you’re trying to project an “I don’t need it” energy. If you’re not forceful enough in your conviction, no one is going to believe you. But you also can’t start believing your own hype.
Even as you’re telling the world you don’t need a thing, you can never forget there are certain people who you are always going to need on your side. Don’t try to run the game on them. Always have a select few you remain honest and humble with.
It’s likely because I’ve always been comfortable with myself, which is a very attractive trait.
This is why I am definitely most attracted to women who don’t seem to care about my success, who aren’t overly impressed by the persona of 50 Cent. In other words, the ones who act like they don’t need 50 Cent, but could be interested in Curtis Jackson.
That was sexy as fuck to me. Most important, she made it very clear she didn’t need anything from me. Chelsea had way too much going on to ever look to me for making something happen for her. If anything, I was probably trying to soak up a little bit of her energy.
She’s achieved so much success, and what makes it even more impressive is that she’s done it on her own terms.
looks or fame. Those qualities aren’t as important to me anymore. The most critical quality for any woman I’m going to be interested in is self-sufficiency, both financial and emotional.
But taking care of a woman who has to be taken care of is a terrible concept!”
But it’s that absence of neediness that’s going to make me receptive to the possibility in the first place.
as a leader, I have to empower the people under me to be who they are.
Whether you’re the boss, a partner, or just a worker, you have to create an environment where people can be honest about their character with you.
It’s always better to empower the people around you to live their truth. When you force them to perpetuate a role, eventually people will see it.
As long as you’re comfortable walking your truth, no one will ever beat you at being you, either.
you just not like me?” “I
My strategy was pretty straightforward: I’d always prefer to be friends with someone, but if they’re not interested, then I consider being enemies the next best option.
That conversation would have never taken place if you felt neutral about me.



















