A Place for Us

by Fatima Farheen Mirza

He did not know how to wink then but he did scrunch his nose and show his two front teeth anytime he knew it was mischievous to agree with me. Never mind number one; I had never been anyone’s number two, and I vowed to do what I could to keep my rank.

Nana Rafiq w/ Abbas

Afraid that if I wake in a few hours or do not wake, if I recover for years or just for a few more months, I will not be any closer to knowing if you are well in the world.

The older I get, the easier it is for me to imagine that God can forgive a man for his sins when they only affect him, but maybe He wants people to mend any hurt and harm they cause their fellow brothers and sisters while in this life, while living in this realm.

Something in me snapped, or sank, I’m not sure what it was.

You somersaulted through your sentences

If we, just humans and entirely limited in our thinking, could think to break resources into smaller pieces so our children could feel the joy of scattering slices a little longer, then what generosity was our creator not capable of?

You were a terrific liar as well as a terrible one. Terrible in that no one believed you, and terrific because no one minded: you were charming and endearing even as you deceived us.

“I do not want it to remain a test. I want to do something about it. I have to try.”

Rafiq to Layla discussing being tested in their faith with Amar's absence. 💔😭

Everyone has free will. In time, I knew, we could work our way around it, I could become accustomed, even on that night I told myself there was nothing the human heart could not grow to endure, that the miracle of the human heart is that it expands in its capacity to accept, to love.

“ ‘There is another way. Come back, and we will make another path.’ And if he says no, and if he says nothing, will you say this: ‘I used the wrong words. I acted the wrong ways. I will wait, until you are ready. I will always wait for you.’ ”

I will wait by the gate until I see your face. I have waited a decade, haven’t I, in this limited life? Waiting in the endless one would be no sacrifice.