Boyfriend Material (London Calling, #1)

by Alexis Hall

There should really be a word for the feeling you get when you do a thing you don’t particularly want to do to support somebody else but then realise they didn’t actually need you and nobody would have noticed if you’d stayed home in your pyjamas eating Nutella straight from the jar.

“You really do own your illiteracy, don’t you?” “Yeah, I’m thinking about moving to America and running for public office.”

My working theory was that getting a dessert from a vegan restaurant was like having sex with someone less attractive than you—they knew it was a tough sell, so they tried harder.