Boyfriend Material (London Calling, #1)

by Alexis Hall

There should really be a word for the feeling you get when you do a thing you don’t particularly want to do to support somebody else but then realise they didn’t actually need you and nobody would have noticed if you’d stayed home in your pyjamas eating Nutella straight from the jar.

hello, rock bottom. Nice to see you again. Do you want to be my boyfriend?

I wouldn’t say you were a full-on pompous arse. Maybe more of a supercilious butt cheek.”

It was just a dick, looking at a dick, asking why he was always such a dick.

All I do is I touch something, and whether it sparks joy or not, I just leave it exactly where it is.”

I’d started trying to put things in places, but the places where I wanted to put the things were already full of things that weren’t the things that were supposed to go in those places, so I had to take the things out of the places, but there were no places to put the things that came from the places, so then I tried to put things back in the places but they wouldn’t go back in the places, which meant now I had more things and nowhere to put the things, and some of the things were clean and some of the things were very much not clean, and the very much not clean things were getting mixed up with the clean things and everything was terrible and I wanted to die.

ADHD panic perfectly described. I feel this sentence in my SOUL.

Somehow, despite my flat still looking like a bomb had thought about going off but got too depressed and just sat in the corner eating Pringles and crying, I was in an oddly good mood.

if I don’t diminish things I have to face them at their normal size, and that’s horrible.”

“People don’t believe stuff just because you tell it to them directly. If they did, visual art would be completely worthless. Otherwise I’d go around writing things like ‘Capitalism has significant problems’ and ‘I fancy girls’ on walls.”