Boyfriend Material (London Calling, #1)

by Alexis Hall

We were both quiet for a moment.. “Will it…will it ever stop hurting?” “Non.” Mum shook her head. “But it will stop mattering.”

Oliver had looked utterly disgusted, and replied, “No, this is just another homosexual I’m standing next to.” The

huh Oliver?? WILDING

but I’d woken alone the next morning, fully clothed next to a large glass of water.

at least he’s respectful and responsible 😅

“Are you wearing eyeliner?” he asked. “What? No.” “Really?” “Well, it’s the kind of thing I think I’d remember. I’m pretty sure this is just what my eyes look like.” He looked slightly affronted. “That’s ridiculous.”

😭😭

His eyes—which were a hard, gunmetal grey—held mine so long and so steadily that I actually started sweating.

But there was also some pathetic, lonely part of me that enjoyed being so publicly possessed.

So he’s unintentionally matching your freak 👀👀👀

His ankle brushed against mine as we rearranged ourselves. And it had clearly been way too long since I got laid, because I damn near fainted. Dragging my attention away from our under-table negotiations, I found him watching me with this crooked half-smile—as if we’d single-handedly (-footedly?) brought peace to the Middle East.

Wait they are so adorable 😭

And he let me. “You’ve always acted like you thought you were better than me.” I was close enough that I heard him swallow. “Is…is that what you believe?” “Well, it’s true. You are. Happy now?” “Not remotely.”

Oh Ollie defs thinks luc is too good for him 😭

He was never going to call me Lucien again, was he? He was going to respect my wishes like some kind of arsehole.

why is he like this 😭😭😭😭

“Then, I’ll see you on Sunday…” He smiled. Oliver Blackwood was smiling. At me. For me. Because of me. “…Lucien.”

Oh he’s down bad badddd

Didn’t hurt. I wasn’t going to let them hurt.

Oh luce 💔💔💔

Oliver’s eyes were at their silverest—soft and stern at the same time.

Oliver being nice to me was way harder to deal with than Oliver being angry with me.

I need to hug him so badly

“Oh, Lucien, how can I explain this?” For some reason, he sounded sad. “I don’t want fine. Fine isn’t enough. It’s not about the open fire or whatever other clichés you can conjure up, but yes, I want a connection. I want you to care as much as I care. I want you to need it and want it and mean it. I want it to matter.” He had to stop talking. Or I was going to…I don’t know…cry or something. He had no idea what he was asking for. I had no idea how to give it to him. “I’m sure that’s all…lovely.” My mouth was so dry it was making my words click. “But with me, what you get is fine. And that’s all there is.”

Lucien keeps breaking my heart so badly

But. Oh holy God. You normally had to pay money to see something like that. I mean, we were talking grooves, ridges, just the right amount of hair—fuzzy, not furry—and even a couple of playful little veins snaking up from beneath the waistband of his trousers.

HORNY JAIL LUC

which meant now I had more things and nowhere to put the things, and some of the things were clean and some of the things were very much not clean, and the very much not clean things were getting mixed up with the clean things and everything was terrible and I wanted to die.

this is me and this is the point I just start throwing things out 😭

Worse, I was worried I was going to blurt out something awful like “I missed you” or “I tidied my flat for you.”

HES SO CUTE 🤏🤏🤏

“Hey, nice dog, wanna fuck?” And he’d be like “Sure, because your mother’s never said the word ‘penis’ in front of me” and then they’d get a lovely semidetached in Cheltenham and Oliver would make French toast every morning and they’d walk the dog together, hand-in-hand, and have meaningful conversations about ethics and—

😭😭😭 why is his brain like this (me)

“Yeah but”—I accidentally elbowed Oliver in my effort to gesticulate—“you’ll have to spend time with him. He doesn’t deserve to spend time with you.” “Luc, I decide who I spend time with. Not you.” I opened my mouth. Then closed it again. “Sorry. I…just…sorry.”

Oh when you suffer your whole life over something and your parent is nonchalant about it all …. I felt seen so hard Oh luc 💔💔

His arms went round me, in that enfoldy sort of way he was so good at, and he pressed against my back.

why am I choking up … this is all I’ve wanted for so long after every low moment with my family

I’d brought Miles to visit, of course, but I’d never tried to make him part of our world.

So he was aware miles wasn’t meant to be

I think I was blushing. “I don’t know. It’s just got this domestic bliss vibe to it that I find, um, nice?”

HES SUVH A HOPELESS ROMANTIC POOKIE 🥹🤏

“I mean everything you’re saying is perfectly unobjectionable when taken at face value. But you’re trying to make us accept an entirely false equivalence between you abandoning your three-year-old child and Lucien holding you accountable for a choice you admit to making freely. They are not, in fact, the same thing.”

OH I LOVE HIM LETS GO OLLIE

And he made me feel so fucking precious I wasn’t sure I could bear it.

🥹🥹 Ollie making him feel loved is so 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

I read the other day that he’s seeing somebody new, that he’s getting his life back on track. But the more I think about it, the less I believe there was ever a track for him to be on. I hope I’m wrong. I hope he’s happy. But when I see his name in the papers, I think back to those strange, haunted eyes. And I wonder.

this is such a stupid article like what the fuck is even the point of writing this and putting this out??? what does if there ever was a track even suppose to mean????

Oliver was standing there in his stripiest pyjamas, his face pale and his eyes red-rimmed.

awwww pookie 🥺

This is a contentless piece of self-serving fluff by an obvious hack.”

EXACTLY EXACTLY THANK YOU

“I’m not going to. And my end goal is to get to the stage where we can have this kind of conversation in the same room. But, y’know, baby steps?”

WHY IS HE ME FR

Miles…we were together all through university and a little bit after. And I think it was one of those relationships where the stuff that keeps you together at uni doesn’t work in the real world. We were sort of going through a rough patch, but I guess I didn’t know how rough, because he went and sold his story…my story…our story…to the Daily—I can’t even remember which. For fifty fucking grand.”

WHEN I CATCH YOU MILES

“There’s no need to panic. We’re just having a conversation.” “Can I go back in the bath—”

😭 why are they so unintentionally adorably funny

“You don’t have to. But you can trust that I have nothing to gain and everything to lose by turning our relationship into a public spectacle. I don’t particularly need the money, and I’ve invested more than a decade in a job that relies on my reputation for discretion.”

what does it say about me that I find this so hot

Oliver was eating something scarily healthy-looking from a mason jar, and reading the Financial Times on his iPad. God, he was adorable.

You are so down bad pookie 😭

I wound up having to buy it every year under a series of increasingly unlikely pseudonyms because nobody else would bid on it.

My unintentional people pleaser

he pitched forward and dropped me on the stairs.

😭😭😭 they are so 🤭🤭😭🥹

“I’m sorry,” he said, blushing a little. “I’ve never thought…I…that is…you…”

Ollie going from daddy to baby every other sentence shouldn’t be this adorable but IT IS

I was pinned by the sheer pleasure of it all—of Oliver’s ragged breath and the stream of his caresses. Of his deep, deep kisses, ceaseless as the sky in summer. The drag and press of our bodies, the rub of hair and the glide of sweat. And the way he was looking at me, tender and fierce, and almost…awestruck, like I was a different, better person. Although maybe, just then, I was.

this is sooooooo 🤏🤏🤏🤏

Jon Fleming wasn’t going to change, and I wasn’t going to be important to him in the way I used to think I had to. But I was sort of getting to know him. And I was sort of getting to be there. And that was something. So why not take it?

No luc stop trying to waste your time on that shitty ass man

Oliver stopped walking abruptly. “My parents raised me. My father worked every hour God sent, and my mother gave up her career entirely. I don’t want to have an argument with you, especially not here, and especially not now, but I’d thank you not to insult them in their own home.”

Did not expect Oliver to be a desi boy obsessed with his rude ass parents

And clearly he’s too nice or too beaten down from years of this shit to tell you to go fuck yourselves, but I’m not. So…um. Go fuck yourselves.”

I love him defending Ollie but this is not gonna go down well at all ☹️☹️☹️ Ollie’s gonna be big mad

But I want you to know that…that you’re great. And I don’t know how anyone could think you’re not, y’know, great. And…like…” This was impossible. It would have been impossible if we’d been alone in a dark room. And here we were with a half-dozen people staring at us “…your job is…great and you’re really…great at it. And you look great in blue. And…” I was getting the feeling this could have gone better. “…I know I’m not your family and I know I’m just some guy but I hope you can believe that I care about you enough that…you can believe…what I’m saying about you now. Because it’s…true.”

awww ❤️❤️❤️

“Because we were wrong. This isn’t real.”

HUH?? Oliver what

“I meant all of it, but being with you isn’t right for me. And being with me isn’t right for you.”

OLIVER WHAT KIND OF STUPID NONSENSE IS THIS

Jon Fleming behaving exactly like Jon Fleming had no right to hurt this much.

Oh my poor baby 🥺☹️

Priya shook her head. “Nobody has sex in my truck but me. Nobody drives my truck but me.”

IM DYING THEY ARE SO STUPID

“No,” I called back. “Very much not.” “Okay. Sorry. Can you let us know?” “I really can’t. Kind of getting shot down again, actually.”

IM CRYING WHAT IS THIS

I wasn’t taking care of myself. I was eating too much, taking too little exercise, I was leaning on you far more than I should have.

WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON HIS PARENTS ITS SO OVER FOR THEM FUCK THEM

“And, anyway, I don’t like you—I mean, I do like you, but you probably should know that I love you as well.”

HE SAID IT *clap clap*

Then he turned, walked back into his house, and closed the door.

OLIVER DRAG YOUR ASS BACK OUT

“I’m conscious this could be rather burdensome to hear, but you remain the thing I have most chosen for myself. The thing that’s most exclusively mine. The one that brings me the deepest joy.”

OLLIE 🤏🤏🥹

And I was pretty sure this was how love felt: fuzzy and scary and confusing and light enough to whisk you away like a Tesco’s bag on the wind.

MY LITTLE POOKIES ARE FINALLY OFFICIALLY TOGETHER 🎉🎉🍾