Boyfriend Material (London Calling, #1)

by Alexis Hall

James Royce-Royce had spread a red-and-white-checked picnic blanket across my newly visible living room floor. It was laden with goodies, and there were even clean plates to eat them off. Been a while since I’d seen those. We all flopped down and waited semipatiently for James Royce-Royce to introduce the food. I’d never quite figured out if it was a chef thing or a him thing, but he got borderline huffy if you tried to eat something he’d made for you before he’d told you all about it. “So,” he announced, “this is a traditional pork pie with hot-water crust pastry. Sorry, not suitable for Priya, but it’s a picnic. You can’t have a picnic without a pork pie.” Priya gave him a look. “Yes. That is absolutely true. I have all these magical childhood memories of how every summer I’d go out into the park with my family and my mum would make roti and samosas and a raita and a pie none of us could eat. Then when we got home, we’d lend it to the Jewish family next door so they could take it out on their next picnic.” “I’m sorry, darling. That was culturally insensitive of me. But I did make you a lovely quiche.” “Ooh.” She perked up. “Is it the broccoli and goat cheese one?” “Caramelised red onion, cream, and Stilton.” “Okay, I’m sold. You can keep your pie, infidels.” “There’s also,” went on James Royce-Royce, with typical ceremony, “a kale Waldorf salad with buttermilk dressing, a selection of handmade dips, including the hummus you were so fond of last time, Theresa, some of my ...