Pulse and Prejudice: The Confession of Mr. Darcy, Vampire

by Colette L. Saucier

It is a truth of the human condition that the significance of a seemingly minor event will only become evident after one has erred in not realizing its importance, for the chance encounters and whimsies of fate make up a lifetime more so than all its recognized milestones.

His eyes back on his book, Darcy stated, “Perhaps what they lack in fashion they will make up for in modesty, a virtue I find to be lacking in so many ladies in Town,” leaving Caroline to puzzle over whomever he could mean.

The vagaries of fate never ceased in their vexation of Fitzwilliam Darcy. I—a gentleman of rank and good breeding— face impalement or incineration for an affliction not of my own choosing, yet Mrs. Bennet exhibits her vulgarity and vainglory without censure.

He consumed as much nourishment as possible to sate his hunger before the arrival of the guests to ensure that his unnatural urges not draw him to Miss Elizabeth Bennet. Even this he considered an over-abundance of caution, confident his fascination with the young lady had ended, as every day he thought more and more of how little he thought of her at all.

He had come to Kent with thoughts of forgetting her only to find Elizabeth awaited him here. The best laid schemes of mice and men indeed![v] “Forgive me, madam,” Darcy said upon the first opening. “I have business I must attend to this morning.” Darcy had almost made it to the staircase when Fitzwilliam called out to him. Once close enough to speak without raising his voice, Fitzwilliam asked, “Would you like to tell me what the devil is going on?” Darcy hesitated and looked his cousin up and down before finally stating, “No,” and turning and rushing up the stairs.

“Indulge my curiosity a moment, I beg you. In what manner did you present your offer?” Darcy straightened his spine. “Through the customary mode of proposal. I said I admired her greatly, and…” “And?” “And essentially that her personal charms were such that I could overlook any objections to her family and her social position.” “Oh dear God.”

“Darcy?” “Hmm.” “Are you going to stare at that same page all the way back to Town? Clearly you have not read a word.” “Whether I read or not is inconsequential. By having it here open in my hand, you should understand I have no desire for conversation.”

“I have lost her.” He looked up into Fitzwilliam’s eyes. “I have lost Elizabeth. I know someday she will be the moon in someone else’s sky. Why can it not be mine?”

Darcy recognized the conflict in Fitzwilliam’s expression. “I could extend an invitation to the Comtesse and Lord Calmet.” “Perhaps after the Bingleys have quit Pemberley. I could not anticipate the introduction of Mina to Miss Bingley with anything short of trepidation.” “Do you fear Miss Bingley might offend Lady Calmet?” “That I consider a certainty. My fear is that Lady Calmet will tear Miss Bingley into tiny bits.”

The Comtesse and Fitzwilliam continued their discussion on fashion and did not notice when Amadeus jumped up on the sofa next to Darcy, sitting and waiting patiently for the bemused gentleman’s next move. With no little hesitancy, Darcy reached out and stroked the dog’s head. Amadeus lay down and tilted his head into Darcy’s hand in encouragement. Darcy found petting the dog to be a soothing activity and, with two hands now, rubbed behind his ears with vigour. An odd sound emanated from Amadeus and continued as Darcy scratched down his neck and ribs. “It seems to be humming,” said Darcy to the others, not realizing he had interrupted Fitzwilliam in mid-sentence.

“Georgiana, did you by any chance decide to invite Miss Bennet in order to annoy Miss Bingley?’ “Am I not allowed to invite whomever I want to my own birthday dinner?” “Of course.” But he waited. She fidgeted for a moment with her eyes downcast. “Truly, I do enjoy the company of Miss Bennet very much, and I believe she will make the evening more enjoyable; but I admit that knowing it would bother Miss Bingley did make the idea even more appealing.” As he led her back to the others, he said in good humour, “Love, I think you will make an excellent hostess with the ton.”

Although he inhered in eternity, presently he marked the days of his own lifetime. As the decades passed, the reputation of one silly girl and the happiness of one young woman might long be forgotten; but for the moment, these fleeting vexations guided his every action.

“I understand you have heard Elizabeth play the pianoforte, have you not?” “Yes, I have had that honour.” Now that the conversation had veered to his most desired topic, Darcy struggled to remember he was supposed to be eating.

“I thought when you went off that morning, before you left for London, that you were gone to Elizabeth to offer for her.” Darcy flinched in surprise at his sister’s apt intuition. “Would you not be concerned how such a match would affect your marital prospects?” “Dear brother, I had hoped that we have wealth enough so we both could marry for love!”

Even with an eternity before him, he had not a moment to lose.

Elizabeth stared down at their hands, and he heard her quick, sharp breath when he brushed his fingers up the inside of her arm and then stroked down lightly with his fingernails. Beyond stating his intentions, he was prepared to whisk her off to Gretna Green or wherever necessary to make her his own.

“But first, on earth as Vampire sent, Thy corse shall from its tomb be rent. Then ghastly haunt thy native place, And suck the blood of all thy race; There from thy daughter, sister, wife, At midnight drain the stream of life; Yet loathe the banquet which perforce, Must feed thy livid living corse; Thy victims ere they yet expire, Shall know the demon for their sire, As cursing thee, thou cursing them, Thy flowers are withered on the stem.[xxiii]” Releasing one hand, he lifted her chin so she would look at him. Gazing into the depths of her eyes, he asked, “And this did not drive you away?” Inaudibly, she mouthed the word, “No.” He lightly brushed the back of his fingers on her cheek. “A healthy love, indeed.”

Upon hearing her father clearing his throat, they quickly pulled apart, Elizabeth’s cheeks stained with embarrassment. “I have given you my blessing already,” said Mr. Bennet. “You need not compromise her to obtain my consent.” “My apologies, sir.” “Well, at least I know she really does like you. Now let us bring the news to the rest of the household, shall we? We have had no commotion in a full day, and I am certain Mrs. Bennet has grieved the loss of an agitation for her nerves.”