When I said goodnight to Mamá earlier, what I really wanted to say was how much I love her and what a good mamá she’s been and that I’ll miss her and don’t worry, I’ll make it. And to ask for her forgiveness—for lying and for leaving her all alone. I wanted to ask her to pray for me, to pray with me, like we did when I was little. And I wanted her to hold me, one last time, in the comfort of her arms. That’s what I wanted to say instead of leaving it in the letter she’ll find tomorrow.
