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Dolan believed that insults counted as jokes, and that any emotional reaction was as good as a laugh, two mistaken impressions that fed each other and resulted in his current, radiantly toxic personality.
We think the world of your mother and wish no specific ill on your father.
“Should something malodorous make high-velocity contact with what you Americans colloquially refer to as the fan, we’ll be much more comfortable knowing you have the ability to defend yourselves.
Mattie said, “Yeah, and I’d wonder where the puppeteer had put his hand.” Gilbert laughed. “Oh, I like her!”
And besides, if, for some inexplicable reason, I were inclined to bust, as they say, a cap, as bullets are sometimes called, into someone’s ass, as custom dictates, I would not use something as crude as a firearm to do so.
“And how are you gonna do that?” Brewster asked. “By snooping on your parents.” “Oh. We’re cool with that.” “Of course, you are,” Sid said. “You’re teenagers. Your thirst to know all of your parents’ secrets is only topped by your disinterest in telling them any of yours.”
“No,” Sid said, choking back his own coughs. “It’s absolutely crucial that you do things the right way, even if nobody else will ever know. You’ll know, and your opinion of your work’s as important as anybody else’s.”
“True,” Sid said, “but this is an excellent place to start. When you become a time traveler, routines, patterns, and procedures become surprisingly important. Life becomes a confounding kaleidoscope of conundrums and chaos.” Gilbert said, “When we get home, you’re sticking a dollar in the alliteration jar.”
little else. Mattie said, “The sign says he’s not here.” Sid said, “Indeed it does, my young friend, but in time you’ll learn that printing something on a board doesn’t make it true. For example, in my experience, slower traffic seldom keeps right.”
“Bravery is a fine quality, Mathison, but surviving is far finer. In my experience, most of the times someone has criticized me for being a coward, it’s been a person who would have enjoyed seeing me hurt.
“I’m not asking you to do it,” Brit the Elder said. “I know you’ve got your hands full with your fruitless project. I wouldn’t dare drag you away from all of that pointless work.”
Sid said, “It was our pleasure.” Gilbert added, “We enjoyed every minute of it.” Martin said, “I am bummed that you taught them magic. I was looking forward to that.” Gilbert said, “We know.” Sid smiled. “That added to the pleasure.”
“Yeah, well, that’s adulthood in a nutshell. Not being able to do things because you decide you can’t.
Being a grown-up is like when someone trains their dog to sit with a weenie balanced on its nose until they give the dog permission to eat it, but you’re the one with the weenie on your nose and you’re the one withholding permission from yourself to eat it.
Learning not to allow yourself to do all the dumb things you’d really like to do is part of what makes you an adult.
Keanu Reeves solved the problem Keanu Reeves caused. Everybody underestimates that guy.”
“Do not,” Tyler interrupted, “say ice-cold lava! How many times do I have to have this conversation? I’ve told Gary. I’ve told Martin. I told Gary again. Twice. Now I’m telling you, cold lava is rock! Just rock! That’s all! Hot lava is melted rock. Cold lava is solid rock. The entire crust of the world is cold lava! It doesn’t freeze anything it touches, and it certainly doesn’t flow like that!”
You have just read the sixth book in the Magic 2.0 series, unless you’re reading the end matter first, in which case I congratulate you on your bold, unconventional approach to recreational reading.
