The Fires of Vengeance (The Burning, #2)

by Evan Winter

through the jagged gaps between his burned eyelids,

Instead of literally seeing through slits, author should have made patient mentally picture. His eyes are melted shut

Instead of recap exposition through memory, author should have made dialog. At least the characters are engaging that way. "I remember when you beat that brat ..."

She slipped into that easy smile,

Tau doesn't know her. How could she 'slip into that easy smile' from his POV?

“Come, now, we’re needed.”

What was the point of this scene? To show us the enslaved youngling dragon + claustrophobia of MC? That was completely useless. Problems: 1. As a reader I wasn't immersed. Too much exposition, and the heavy handed / forced claustrophobia threw me out of the story. 2. This did not advance the current story. 3. The self-pity and lassitude of Tau is annoying.

Eye-roll!

“Watch the blood on the floor, Champion. It can kill.”

Clearly a setup for future plot. This is one of the first things that makes this scene useful.

“The Indlovu came and gathered as much as they could,

Gathered, not cleaned up. Dragon blood has uses! If I had to guess and make a predictions: 1. dragon blood is, perhaps, related to gifted power. 2. The title of the next book: "Blood of the Dragon"

“When the time comes, I promise you freedom or a quick death,” he said. “As soon as I’m able, either way I’ll release you.” The dragon’s eye snapped open. Its bloodred iris ringed a pupil so deep and dark it felt like he were gazing into an abyss. Then the pupil thinned vertically, focusing, and the dragon shifted its bulk, trying to stand. Hearing something fall to the ground behind him, Tau leapt back, swords in his hands. “Champion!”

I like this part of the scene. I suspect Tau will release the dragon and earn the guardian's respect this way, making a new kind of bond with the guardians. One not forced but given, as the people have been lead to believe.

trying to lift itself.

Nice choice of words, if your intention was to draw a parallel between Tau metaphorically lifting himself from 'lesser' to the highest ranking warrior.

“Where are you coming from, Champion?”

Strike. If he's smart enough to guess, then he knows from where Tau comes. No need to ask a silly question. Besides, I liked the ending beat with the previous statement.

or for as long as she finds his service worthy.”

Well, if this doesn't predict Tau's fall from worthiness, I don't know what does. It's a bit too heavy handed. I don't want to know this so early!

midnight-black dress edged in patterns of gold.

Nice imagery!! Reminds me of a gifted, drawing power in the underworld, while shrouded.

The anteroom was anchored by a fountain made of chalk-white stone that was filled with a swirling red liquid.

Nice. I remember this detail from book 1, but; given the dragon's blood drop from earlier, I suspect this is a hint: blood is key. Annnnd, now that I think about it: "Blood will show" the battle cry of the nobles takes on a new meaning....