Felix Ever After

by Kacen Callender

I know grandequeen69 isn’t the only person in the world who would think my identity is based on the gender I was assigned at birth—to force me into a box, to control me for their own comfort, because they’re afraid of what they don’t understand. Because they’re afraid of me. To know that there are people out there who hate me, want to hurt me, want to erase my identity, without ever even seeing me or knowing me, just like there are people out there who hate me for the color of my skin—it’s enraging, infuriating, but it also hurts. The old hollow pain that burrowed its way into my chest the moment I saw that gallery of the old me is still there, and it feels like it’s growing every second, like a black hole in the middle of my body. And what’s worse is that I know I’ve been questioning my identity. My guilt and shame swell.