“Make sure you don’t sneeze or fart tonight, okay? Your pants are so tight, I’m pretty sure they would rip. Wouldn’t want Knight Delicious Face to get a sample of the goods along with everyone else.” I groaned. “If you look close enough, you can see everything. It’s like I’m an advertisement for circumcision.” He looked closely. It was very disconcerting to have your gay unicorn best friend studying your penis that intensely. Finally, he gave his verdict. “It’s a very nice penis.” “Thank you.” Because it was. “Not as big as mine, though.” “Goodbye, self-esteem and fuzzy feelings. It was so
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