“Oh my gods,” I groaned. “I am so pathetic.” Fuck that, because that wasn’t who I was. I was awesome. I was epic. I was a badass fucking wizard’s apprentice who would one day change the way people looked at magic. I was going to rescue people from the slums and make their lives better. I was going to open a shop where anyone got to come in and hug puppies for free and leave with a balloon, ice cream, and a compliment. “Here’s your pistachio cream. I made you a balloon animal in the shape of a walrus. You have very nice knuckles.” I was going to finish my Grimoire, and five hundred years from
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