My dad growled, “If you touch my son, I’ll cut off your arms and beat you with them.” “Wow,” I said in complete adoration. “That was graphic and amazing.” My mom said, “And I’ll cut off your legs and shove them so far up your anus that you’ll taste your feet at the back of your tongue.” “Dudes,” I whispered to everyone. “That’s my mom.” Morgan said, “And I’ll make your nipples explode.”
