The Lightning-Struck Heart (Tales From Verania, #1)

by T.J. Klune

“No! There was that one guy! At that thing! With the people!” My argument was sound.

“I don’t have time for all the relations and courting and wooing bullshit,” I said. “I’m a wizard. I have quests.” “Uh, you’re an apprentice,” Gary said. “And you’re sent on errands.” “You know how you wanted to dye a strip of your mane purple?” I said. “Yes. Because I’d be beautiful.” “Well, too fucking bad,” I said savagely. “I’m not going to do it. You’re just going to have keep it white. Forever.” “You promised!” “That was before you were a jerk!”

“You said you were just friends!” “We were. We were just the kind of friends that tied each other up and pushed our penises together.”

🤣🤣🤣💀

I am a unicorn, and I am magic and a beautiful creature made of fucking sunshine and rainbows and good feelings.” “I knew it,” I whispered.

But then my world was filled with the most beautiful green eyes to have ever greened.

I winked at myself in the mirror and then realized that’s what douchebags did, so I vowed to never do it again.

Shifty wizard was shifty. “Oh look. We’re being called in.”

“Okay, Captain Bad-Touch,” I said, pulling my hand back. “That’s quite enough of that.”

“Yes, yes. Wouldn’t want to disappoint the future Mrs. Sam of Wilds. Hello, boys! Daddy’s back. You may all sigh in relief as one.”

“I would recommend him for euthanasia,” I said.

“Remember that one time I laughed at a joke you told?” He grinned at me. “I do.” “This is not going to be like that time.”

“Life is about chances. Unless you take them, you’ll never know what they could bring.”

“A wizard must be familiar with his surroundings at all times and able to pick up on all the subtle nuances from the people and/or creatures he associates with.” “Subtle nuances,” Gary said. “Subtle,” Tiggy said.

Perhaps they’ll return with badges made of scars. Or will they discover the war in their hearts, As it is surely written upon these stars.

“Sometimes we do things for the greater good, even if it causes our hearts to break.”

“You bother me,” I said to him. “I’m not sure if I’m pleased that you exist.”

They’re like Russ and Rochelle from that serial story you read in the newspaper.”

Omfg🤣🤣🤣🤣

“Do you often make demands of your gods? Is that what you think they’re there for? For humans like you to lay your burdens upon them, to do as you ask, and if they don’t, you doubt them? Tell me, woman. Is that what you are asking? Of a god?”

“I promise, because when I look upon these stars, there is nothing I wish for more than you.”