The Lightning-Struck Heart (Tales From Verania, #1)

by T.J. Klune

Of course, since I was looking my absolute worst and talking to myself like a crazy person, I ran into the one person I didn’t want to run into. Ever. Well, that’s a lie. I totally wanted to run into him while I looked absolutely amazing and he’d say something like “Hey, Sam, I have this extraordinary fascination with your equipment. Let’s go somewhere and I’ll show you what it feels like to have your balls worshipped.”

“You are way too pretty to exist in this world with us mere mortals.” I somehow managed to stop myself from calling him Knight Delicious Face. It was close. And he smiled. Like I had amused him. There were full-on white teeth just inches from my face, and the corners of his eyes crinkled so endearingly that I wanted to wax poetically about his every feature so that he’d smile at me for the rest of our lives. Bards would be singing his praises for centuries by the time I was done with him.

Needless to say, I looked like a high-end prostitute when I was summoned from my room.

And Ryan’s eyes were still trained on the ground, but I saw him fighting back a smile. I wanted to tell him I’d swallow anything for him just to see him smile,

“What happened?” Tiggy asked. “The King wants Sam to get covered in man juice,” Gary said. “Oh,” Tiggy said. “Your flower gonna get eaten?” “Nobody is taking my flower!” “And no one ever will if you keep calling it that,” Gary pointed out.

“You’re not asexual, Sam.” “Don’t judge me! You can’t tell me how to live my life! Let me spread my beautiful wings so I can fly.” “He’s not asexual,” Gary told Morgan. “He has wet dreams and moans dirty things about chest hair.” “That was one time.” Okay, more like six times.

To Mervin: Don’t worry. I’m a Sam Girl too. Our secret? Ryan Foxheart

“And why do you need me limber, Sam?” he asked, sounding almost amused.

Ryan snorted. “Yeah, I don’t think so. My cock is bigger than your whole entire being.” And. Just. What. The fairies started tittering loudly. Dimitri scowled. “It’s not the size. It’s what you do with it.” “And I can do many things with it,” Ryan said wickedly. “Many, many things.” “Please, can I have some, please,” I whispered, though no one heard me.

I had plans. Things were looking up. “What are you so happy about?” Gary asked me suspiciously. “Everything, my good man,” I said. “I have plans.” “I don’t want to know what they are if the manic smile on your face is indicative of anything.” “I’m probably into rimming,” I told him, and Ryan tripped and almost fell down. Sometimes he was so graceless for a knight.

“I can do things that others can only dream about.” “Ungh,” Ryan said. “That shit is so hot.” Everyone turned to stare at him. He was bright red. “I said that out loud, didn’t I? Dammit.” “What?” I squeaked. “When you do magic, it turns me on,” Ryan said, shaking his head frantically. “Ah gods. I can’t—stop. Just stop. Ahhh, I get erections when you cast spells. Oh shit.” “Sweet molasses,” I managed to say.

“Do some magic,” Ryan whispered to me, right in my ear. “Slowly. So I can watch.” “When we get out of here, I’m going to do so much magic all over you,” I told him. “You’re going to be covered in it.” At that moment, I really wished I’d been born mute and had never set eyes on Ryan Foxheart.

Ten minutes after that. “HEH. RYAN WANTS TO DO ME. SWEET.”

I opened my eyes. And there was Ryan, always Ryan. He cupped my face and his thumbs traced my cheeks. His eyes were so bright and he said, “Hey, Sam, you’re with me, okay?” I just nodded, unable to look away, even though I knew I wasn’t with him, not really. But it didn’t matter because I felt soothed, his touch a balm, and I knew then I’d never find anyone like him again. There might be others out there who could anchor my magic, but they’d never be like him. He’d never have to know, but I would. I would know him forever.