Number Neighbors

by Emma Hart

I also wasn’t entirely one hundred percent financially stable, but I could pay my mortgage and eat relatively well. By relatively well, I mean I didn’t eat take out every single night. Just sometimes. Okay, four times a week, but I totally ordered salads, too.

“Amazing. You live next to a veterinarian, and you’re using Dr. Google.”

I knew nothing about cats. Except that they were assholes, but everyone who’d ever been on the internet knew that.

“Are there any balls?” I asked. His smile gave way to a low chuckle. “Two balls. Congratulations, it’s a boy.” Yippee. “Well, at least his name won’t have to change now.” “And you can stop referring to him like he’s a member of the Addams family.” “That, too.”

“Wow. You weren’t this much of an ass in the texts.” “Well, I didn’t have time. Apparently, I was too busy texting you about slapping your ass.”

“Gentlemen don’t send dirty text messages to strangers.”

“I am. I’m also aware that, by your own admission, there’s plenty of other things you could be doing with your mouth right now.”

I wasn’t exactly the most confident person in the world. I never had been, and it was the kind of thing I doubted I ever would be. Unfortunately, I was faced with a situation where I had to have some balls in order to handle it. I was a little short on balls.

“What the—” I froze. “I thought you left!” “I thought you might follow me.”

and there are rules, Isaac. You’re not just waltzing in here with… with that accent and, well, that.” I motioned to his body, then to his face. “It’s not fair on the rest of us who were made when God was in a bad mood.”

“Was it amazing? Do British people kiss differently than us? I bet they do it with style.”

but does he kiss with a British accent?”

“People don’t kiss in accents. It’s not like we’re all taught how to kiss based on where we live.” “Well, that’s a shame. There goes all my fantasies.”

“Someone’s ability to dirty talk isn’t related to the kind of boyfriend they’d be.” “Sure it is. Anyone who can dirty talk your ass off is gonna be one hell of a goer in bed.”

Dating never covered having sexted your neighbor prior to the date.

Everyone needed pizza on the first date.

Isaac had me wrapped up in all kinds of knots, and none of them were the BDSM kind. Well, maybe my insides were.

IMMY: Do you think he fucks with a British accent? ME: I can’t talk to you when you’re like this.

“I’m thinking I want to kiss you.” “Is it up for discussion?” I asked softly. He leaned in until he was so close that I could feel his breath as it skittered over my lips. “We can discuss it, but I’m still going to do it.”

The need to kiss her, to touch her, to fuck her, was all-consuming—desperate, almost. I fucking wanted her. Badly. So bloody badly I could barely stand it.

There was a mini first aid kit in there, and I unzipped it to find a flattened box of plasters—or Band-Aids as they called them here.

“Would you be saying that if it were your ankle he’d taken a chunk out of?” “I’ve had bigger, scarier things try to bite me than a one-pound kitten with an ego.” She paused, a thoughtful look crossing her face. “Actually, so have I.”

With a sigh, I headed for the next best thing: the ice cream aisle.

“Do you just say whatever comes into your head without regard for the consequences?” “Honey, I’ve paid my politeness dues. Now I’m old I can say whatever the fuck I want.”

Apparently, my willpower was that of a piece of paper on a fire. Poof. Gone. Buh-bye.

“I want you, Hannah. I want to pull you upstairs and kiss you until you can’t breathe. I want to throw you on the bed and put my face between your legs until you’re fucking it. I want to flip you on your knees and grab your hips and tug on your hair until you’re screaming my name in pleasure. I want to do everything I said I would do in that first texting session when I know you sat in this house and played with your clit until you came.”

“Does he fuck in a British accent?” Immy asked, balking when I glared at her. “Sorry. I just wondered.” “No, but he dirty talks during it in a British accent, so there’s that.” “Nice.”

“He’s also Lucifer’s vet now.” “Yeah, but you’re getting rid of the kitten, aren’t you?” “Oh, stop it. We all know the Lord of Darkness isn’t going anywhere,” I huffed.

“I’m not family,” Isaac said. “How did I end up here?” Grandma looked him dead in the eye. “You were weak.”

His white shirt was tucked into a pair of black dress pants, and the bottoms of those brushed against shiny, black shoes. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up to his elbows, and I suppressed a groan. It’s like he knew. White shirt. Rolled sleeves. British accent. Boom. Goodbye, panties.

That was it, basically. The magic formula. The only thing that could make this better would be if he put on grey sweatpants after. Do you know what? If he did that, he could take my ovaries, too. Lord only knew they’d be no good to me after they’d exploded.

With your accent. Do people really act shocked?” He peered at me over the top of the menu. “I’m rather used to it now,” he said slowly. “But yes, it happens. We actually had a family come into the clinic around six months ago and I think their teenage daughters swooned to death the moment I told them to go into my exam room.”

“To the shelter? Have you seen my willpower? I rescued that little shit as a full-fledged member of Team Dog and now he sleeps on the end of my bed.”

“Who said you’re sleeping in my bed on a regular basis?” “Fine. I’ll send you batteries for your vibrator and you can see how well that cooks you breakfast.”

“See you later, love.” Her cheeks flushed pink. That was the only reason I called her that. She blushed every time, and there was something so fucking adorable about making her blush that way that I couldn’t help myself.

She wasn’t my friend, but she wasn’t my girlfriend. Ah, fuck this shit. “Nope. My girlfriend already has a kitten. Showed up on her back step and never left.” I grinned at Hannah and squeezed her hand. She met my eyes, her gaze equal parts shock and happiness. Well, at least I knew she’d say yes when I officially asked her to be my girlfriend.

“Look at that. Two weeks ago, we were sexting, now we’re cat parents.”

It was instant, their connection. The opposite of mine and Isaac’s. And you know what? That was fine. Totally fine. I knew we were falling in love, no matter how early it was. I knew we’d say it. I knew he was my end game, no matter the weird way we’d come together.

Happily ever after wasn’t always right now. Happily ever after was a work in progress. And I was willing to work on mine. Forever.

“Love you, dork. Now go take a shower. You smell.” He stared at me with those green eyes I loved so much. “Thanks. Love might be blind, but it can smell exceptionally well, I guess.”