Number Neighbors

by Emma Hart

“I’ll kick you,” I shot back. “You have the lower body strength of a newborn donkey,” my cousin replied. “I’m not worried about that.

“Push the button, Hannah. Flick the bean. Tiddly your winks.”

Nobody watched porn for the story, Karen.

The woman was all drama. Well, ninety percent drama. The other ten percent of her was Jack Daniels.

I side-eyed her. “Are you aware that you’re an eighty-year-old bully?” “Yes, dear, but you’re confusing me with someone who gives a shit.”

“Honey, I’ve paid my politeness dues. Now I’m old I can say whatever the fuck I want.”