Fleabag: The Scriptures

by Phoebe Waller-Bridge

I want to take clean cups out of the dishwasher … and put them in the cupboard … At home. And the next morning I want to watch my wife drink from them.

I just think I want someone to tell me how to live my life, Father, because so far, I think I’ve been getting it wrong.

I can’t have sex with you because I’ll fall in love with you and if I fall in love with you, I won’t burst into flames, but … my life will be fucked.

I think you know how to love better than any of us. That’s why you find it all so painful.

(gently) It’ll pass.