Becoming Bulletproof: Protect Yourself, Read People, Influence Situations, and Live Fearlessly

by Evy Poumpouras

being willing to help others is the antidote to fear. And that is the first step toward becoming bulletproof.

Survival is about mastering yourself and your fear response, being able to think and act while keeping your panic at bay. Being able to navigate your mental and physical response to fear is your number one survival skill. It can also be the best ally you have in any intimidating situation life throws your way. Managing your fear requires a deliberate act of courage. It is a choice that you make, and it’s one that everyone is capable of making.

The best way to manage fear is preparation. It isn’t hiding from the things we’re afraid of—it’s facing them head-on, taking responsibility for our own safety, and giving ourselves the tools and knowledge we need to manage any situation that might come our way. It’s about confidence, personal strength, and self-sufficiency.

One thing I cannot teach you is how to be fearless. Being fearless is bullshit. It isn’t possible to live without fear, and it shouldn’t be necessary in order for you to live a healthy, successful life. Fear is natural, useful, and it keeps us alive. The reason you don’t drive fast is that you fear getting into an accident or getting a speeding ticket. The reason you wait for traffic to pass before crossing the street is that you fear getting hit by a car. The reason you study before an exam is that you fear failing it. The reason you pay your taxes (hopefully) is that you fear the IRS will come knocking on your door. All good reasons to be afraid.

Fear is a healthy and natural response to a perceived threat. On the other hand, panic causes us to lose control of our faculties. When we panic, we can’t think, can’t reason, can’t process or plan.

Beyond the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises, all other fears are learned fears. These are the fears that we inherit from our parents or acquire while growing up.

If it’s a threat we think we can overpower, we go into Fight mode. If it’s a threat we think we can outrun, we go into Flight mode. If it’s a threat where we think we can do neither—we Freeze.

Your mental armor is an internal firewall against the harmful words or actions of others that might otherwise undermine or diminish you.

Fear is like fire. If you extinguish it while it’s small, it won’t become an inferno.

Your ability to accept a situation—the real situation—will ultimately help you overcome it. This means that when unplanned shit happens, and it will, you must forgo the I can’t believe this is happening to me attitude, and instead adopt the mindset of This is happening to me. This is my reality. So now what?

if your goal is to accurately read someone, then it’s not about you talking; it’s about allowing the other person to talk and share information with you. When you are on the receiving end of a conversation, the more you receive, the better informed you will be.

Active listening means being present. Get rid of any distractions and give your undivided attention to the person sitting in front of you.